Sure Got Kafkaesque in Here

[googledox]

[It comes on Saturday's comm, during a lull in the fighting, when the liquidators have all been stopped. It's text but the text-to-voice options means people can hear the message on the go, especially since people can have their comms float along with them as they move.]

[It's difficult for him to hit the buttons without messing words up. He opts to keep his sentences short and simple. Thank goodness for auto-capitalize and auto-spell]

Using Saturday's comm. She found me outside.

Brainiac 5. I'm alive.

Fell in Stuff. Was dying.

Alive but changed. Bad. Typing is difficult.

No thumbs.

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[googledox]

[Brainy's response to that is to reach up and initiate the hug himself, assuming that if Robbie's asking, he's okay with being hugged by him in this state. Vines wrap around and cling. Some of them shake back and forth at the crook of Robbie's neck, giving just enough of a sensation of a shaking head to make it clear he's saying no to being too fragile.]

[The wheezing continues.]

[walkingballpit]

[ The hug is so different from what he’s used to, but the only adjustment Robbie does is to keep the vines off the makeshift bandage. There’s more vines than humanoid limbs, and no real center of mass to bear hug tightly. He can’t promise that it’s okay, or going to be okay, or that they’ll get home or through this. Their relationship has all the space in the universe for stupid humor, but that doesn’t leave much room for specious stories or whatever Querl would call it.

Robbie probably would try platitudes if Querl could raise an eyebrow at him and say something snarky and syllabic, but he doesn’t have eyebrows anymore.

And that, of all the stupid thoughts, is what makes him start to cry. Wanting to get closer to proper hug, Robbie scoops up as much of Brainy as he can gather onto his lap. ]

I thought I lost you.

[ It’s selfish to feel any sort of relief, but everyone’s always said that he’s a selfish idiot. Robbie chokes down the apologies, but he can’t hide how sorry he is. ]

I should’ve been there. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.

[ At least next time, they can shoot at Robbie first. ]

[googledox]

[The vines are careful, skirting the wound, and the stalk eyes briefly look at it. There is a noise that is maybe concern but at least it's bandaged. It's hard when Brainy can't talk, when the only way of talking - typing it out - is so laborious without thumbs.]

[He does have a shortcut, though. One vine goes to Robbie's temple, the way Brainy's hand sometimes did, when he used his empathic power to calm him.]

[And even despite his sadness and horror there is still that pervasive sense of calm. Of love. That is still strongest. Brainy makes that the strongest that he projects over. The other - worse - feelings are there, being felt, but held back from the link.]

[Of course he'd comfort Robbie at a time like this. Of course.]

[walkingballpit]

[ There’s no discernible analog for touching someone’s cheek when they don’t have a cheek anymore. The hand that had moved to return the gesture instead pats a vine, but the unfamiliarity is devastating. He doesn’t even know if the contact registers the same way.

Robbie’s head is an agitated bee swarm of emotions that he doesn’t have under control at all, so there’s no hiding any of it from the link. He’s just so overwhelmed by everything that a different emotion is proclaiming itself king of the mountain every two minutes. Grief, anger, confusion. Pain. But they all stem from the same place: love. ]

I’m okay. I love you, too.

[ Brainy’s current state doesn’t change the truth of that. They just need to get home. Everything will be fine if they can get back to ultra modern medicine and bizarre body-modifying ice cream flavor research scientists. ]

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought there’d be a better time. And then… there wasn’t. This still isn’t. It’s just… I’m not getting another chance to mess this up.

[ If they can’t get back home, then the poor circumstances won’t matter anymore. With the rapid restructuring put into place by Jorgmund, something’s gonna change pretty quick. Might as well have something nice while to hang onto. Querl knows that Robbie loves him.

Querl probably already knew. Querl also probably knows that Robbie hasn’t read his letter now. Which makes him almost laugh, and the inappropriate amusement and sheepishness crowd out affection and regret. ]

If we’re still alive in a few weeks, you have to let me know when it’s okay to make stupid jokes that needle us both. For now, you get a exasperation vacation. Except for that one. And… that one. This is how I cope.

[ The hand that he wasn’t sure what to do with? It finds a natural resting spot on the vine touching Robbie’s face. No further anguish or thought. Just seeking contact. ]