002: Offering Lessons.

[tarnishedavenger]

I'm noticing a few of you are having trouble with Planker's combat training. And, all due respect to Lubitsch, but he's a little too distracted and has too little time with us to do more than give pointers.

[That's about as close as Armstrong's going to come to saying that he thinks Lubitsch is about as useful as tits on a bull.]

With that in mind, I'm willing to teach some of you.

I've been a boxer for thirty-two years. I learned the basics of combat at West Point and, when I became a Silver Avenger in 1986, I was trained to fight superhuman opponents and groups of armed human opponents. I've been doing that, and training others to do that, for just about twenty-five years now. I'm also decent with a blade and good with any kind of gun you'd care to name.

I'm not a fancy martial artist. Don't expect any hebijutsu or capoeira from me. This would be about surviving, not looking pretty. I may have picked up a few things here and there, but that's about it.

I'll work with you, whenever your time allows, gauge your level, and we can build up from there. I won't say it'll be the easiest thing you've ever done, but it won't be punishing. Some sessions will be more exercise. You need to be fit to fight. But it won't be a waste of your time.

Those of you with more experience, I'm willing to work with you as well, or just spar for the people who don't need it, but this offer is gauged more towards those of us who never needed to learn. If you'd like to help, by all means, meet with me and we'll see if we can't work something out. I'd prefer to do this in small groups or even one on one,just so I can cater to everyone as needed. More teachers would make that easier.

Comments

[tarnishedavenger]

No one's absolutely hopeless.

[Except Mac.]

Full disclosure: I don't usually train people that tall. But once I get a better look at your anatomy, I ought to be able to come up with something.

I appreciate that.

[greyaria]

Height, strength, and digitigrade anatomy would benefit from Sangheili fighting techniques. I only know the bare basics from the papers that have shown up in my xenobio journals, but I can explain them.

[tarnishedavenger]

Please do, by all means. My experience with werewolves is... minimal. And usually under six feet.

[greyaria]

[Please enjoy this illustrated primer that appears after about half an hour. It is, as Emily said, the bare basics, but is enlivened by a fairly accurate if stiff and artless drawing of a Sangheili. There are humans for scale, but those are stick figures. One of them has its head under the Sangheili's foot with x's for eyes, and the other is standing upright and frowning. Looks like Sangheili are about 2.5 meters on average.]

[tarnishedavenger]

Very artistic.

Thank you, this is a start.

[credit_not_blame]

Looks roughly similar? Except I've got a tail. And more booty, that thing has NO butt at all.

I'm not sure how much that affects combat, but I know the butt is part of why humans are bipedal.

[greyaria]

Digitigrade and plantigrade locomotion require different musculature.

[credit_not_blame]

Alas, I am a result of the American Public Education System and I haven't finished high school, so I don't know what "digitgrade" and "plantigrade" mean :(

[tarnishedavenger]

Digitigrade creatures walk on their toes. Plantigrade creatures walk on the whole of their feet.

It's why dogs and cats look like they ought to have two knees. The lower, backwards knee is more like an ankle.

[credit_not_blame]

Oh, I see! In that case, I'm definitely digitigrade as a wolf monster. But as previously indicated, with glutes for reasons of bipedalism.

There'd probably be a lot of really interesting science behind how that happened if the answer weren't literally "magic".

[tarnishedavenger]

When looking at a werewolf, the glutes aren't really where my eyes are being drawn.

[credit_not_blame]

Yeah, the pointy ends are VERY attention-getting. But really, is there a teenage girl who doesn't occasionally get the urge to check out her butt in a reflective surface?

[credit_not_blame]

If 'absolutely hopeless' was the implication I gave you of my own skills assessment, I apologize. I have never been 'absolutely hopeless' at anything I've put my mind to. Either I win, or I learn.

If you can teach me, great! If you need to practice on me first, fine. I heal up real fast, though I'd appreciate if you (or whoever you point me to) didn't do anything too nasty.

[tarnishedavenger]

[Well, that's an attitude to take. If she could carry it off, it'd serve her well. If.]

I try not to break people on the first outing.

[credit_not_blame]

Which makes you SO much better than the guy who was supposed to train me in Werewolf Stuff! He was big into the "throw 'em in the deep end and see who figures it out" school of education. Fortunately, I managed to avoid his 'care' until he got called away to do something else and someone less likely to get me disemboweled took over.