piper90 | Brand New (OTA) [video]

[Brand has been kidnapped, disarmed, and tortured with bad slide shows, electric shocks, and small talk. Today can officially get fucked. At least fallout from the fucking "Go-Away bombs" hasn't suppressed his bond to Rune -- he can feel him just fine, even if he's not entirely sure what to make about the emotions he's getting. But that can be resolved and soon as he fucking finds Rune, which would be easier if he had any fucking idea of where to start.

The sensor in front of the Mess only gets a scowl, and Brand stalks off to find another place to hole up and try and get in touch with Rune. It doesn't take him long to find something that looks like a corporate break room threw up on itself.

When an unfamiliar face appears on the network, it's wearing a near-homicidal expression, because that's just how Brand looks when he doesn't fucking know where Rune is.]

Where the [BEEP] is Rune Saint John?

[Do you answer this angry stranger about one of your fellow New Hires? Or do you try to find out more?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Mistletoe's an actual [BEEP]ing hazard around here?

Not the plastic junk, but watch out for the real stuff. It's magic and it's been trapping people.

[yep]

This place is weird.

...[BEEP].

Any other hazards I should keep an eye out for?

The Yuck Puddle, most of the staff, some of the deckplates are loose, there might still be some rogue office supplies hiding out after they all came to life a while back and started trying to kill us.

[t h i n k i n g . . .]

I think that's it.

Planker. Planker is definitely a hazard that needs to be looked out for.

I said staff! He's staff!

Planker requires his own warning. Staff is one thing. Planker is something completely different.

If you're in decent shape, he's not that bad. Still a huge jerk, though.

[Nora is a perky morning person and has the stamina of an ultramarathoner. Planker's workouts don't faze her.]

I'm in pretty good shape and if I didn't also have telekinesis, I'd probably have been seriously injured in at least one of his rooms. Possibly more.

[Sam's a perky morning person, too. Problem is that he's still just mostly human.]

I liked the electricity one.

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

[Look, she pretty much said at one point that her powers work on electricity. That room seems made for her.]

Eheheheheheh.

[No one that cute should have a giggle that disturbing.]

[No, no, they shouldn't. Even Sam, who has dealt with actual demons before, looks a bit weirded out by that giggle.]

not here

valkywhee - 2020-12-16 19:16 (UTC) - Expand

Gonna need a [BEEP]ing description of what he looks like for that to be helpful.

[Sam sketches out a quick verbal description of Planker.]

He's mainly in charge of our "training". Likes to pull us into obstacle courses from Hell.

[And Sam's been there, so he knows.]

[Brand has yet to learn about how much Sam says "Hell" when he means "Hell". He'd ask for more information, except this 'Planker' could certainly access this little chat. He'll have to continue it in person (ugh), but that'll at least give him a better opportunity to assess how in-shape Sam actually is to determine how to approach the obstacle courses.]

Noted. Sounds like a [BEEP]ing party.

The [BEEP]'s the Yuck Puddle?

[The rest of it seems fairly straight-forward. Even the rogue office supplies aren't too weird, though he should get his hands on some to see how they're different from wild magic shit. Maybe they're trainable, that could be entertaining.]

Gross, that's what it is. I think it might be alive.

[Nora that's totally useless.]

[That gets an eye roll. It's a good eye roll, Brand had a lot of practice even before he and Rune added teens and a precocious preteen to their home.]

Is it mobile? Acidic? Is there something [BEEP]ing living in it that will try to eat people?

Edited 2020-12-16 18:23 (UTC)

It's slimy, you can't mop it up, and it migrates. It smells like gym socks and failure and I think it eats mice.

[That there's mice around here for this thing to potentially fucking eat doesn't bode well. Brand sighs.]

'Yuck Puddle' it is then.

Edited (html) 2020-12-16 20:59 (UTC)

Yeah, told you, it's gross.

Anyway, I'm Nora Valkyrie.

[She waves at the camera.]

Brand.

[His surname? Why would he need to give his surname? And no, he's not going to say "nice to meet you" or any other such pleasantries either, politeness has been deliberately excluded from his wheelhouse.]

[Sucks to be him: Nora doesn't notice and also is Very Friendly, assuming you pass muster, and if Brand is Rune's friend, he's probably okay.]

Nice to meet you!

[If she starts saying things like "you almost always like me after a couple of days", he's hanging up. Brand sighs.]

Circumstances could be [BEEP]ing better.

(no subject)

valkywhee - 2020-12-17 19:55 (UTC) - Expand

runes_brand - 2020-12-17 21:06 (UTC) - Expand