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[VIDEO] A formal apology
- trigger warning for: mentions of psychological torture, war crimes, and self-harm/suicide -
[Alright, so...Apology video it is. No one ever bothered to ask him his perspective, and sure he tried to tell York but he wasn't really listening. Washington and South didn't even give him the time to say anything, really, and just attacked him physically. This video is for the freelancers too, but he figures this is going to be useful to get the sympathies of other hires who have nothing to do with the events and are now being warned about him as if he's some kind of monster or someone who everyone is too good to talk to. That is just unfair.
So here he is, making a video, wearing a white shirt he would use to sleep rather than his uniform because wearing white helps the viewers perceive him as more innocent than usual. He's trying to look unkempt, to give off a more genuine vibe, but being perfectly shaven and looking fresh as a rose doesn't help much - people should get their priorities straight and ask him to drop his skincare routine instead of being upset over petty matters. Oh well, time to start. He forces himself to give the screen a slightly pained expression as he commences.]
Good afternoon, everyone.
I am the former Counselor of Project Freelancer. My name is Aiden Price.
[His lips compress and curl downwards in genuine dismay as he is not comfortable with having a name, at this point. He's perfectly aware that others, by now, are surely weirded out and thinking 'ew why does IT have a name?'. The dehumanization has got to him to the point he gladly does it to himself, clearly he's the victim here.]
For some of you, the situation I am going to adress now is from many years ago, but a select few still have fresh wounds. In fact, the reason why I waited to make this apology was that I did not want to diminish their perspective, in no way whatsoever I intend to invalidate their feelings and I acknowledge my role in the actions that damaged them to such extent. I am sure that my Agents have already shared their side of the story, and if you haven't got to witness it I invite you to do so because it is very important to listen to both sides.
[Totally not a jab at the freelancer for how much they like to bitch without giving him the time to say anything because 'it's a manipulation';. This IS a manipulation, mind you, but still. Rude.]
As you may have heard, Project Freelancer was an organization with the aim of ending the Great War to save our species through the study and usage of advanced technology, namely armour enhancements and Artificial Intelligence to run them. This was a noble purpose, and it was the reason why I signed up to partake when I was assigned to the project. Our Director, Doctor Leonard Church - may he rest in peace - was granted an AI based on himself, the Alpha. Our leaderboard system was important as it determined that only the best our agents was going to obtain the AI to run their equipment, because we cared about the protocol and didn't want our most important asset to fall in enemy hands. All was well, until...Someone else came into the picture.
[His expression darkens, mostly for show.]
Agent Texas was different from her teammates. Not only she was an Artificial Intelligence, she was a byproduct of the Alpha. She split off him. We did not even know such thing was possible, at the time. She was based on the memory of Allison Church, the Director's deceased wife, a ghost come back to haunt him. The Director was struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation ever since he lost her many years before and had to raise their daughter alone, and seeing her again caused a quick decline of his already poor mental state. At first, I wasn't able to notice it: he said that that event made him understand that it was possible to create fragments, and that he wanted to study further so that we could have more to win the war. We spent many days trying to figure out what was the key factor, and one day I found out. The key factor was trauma, and...
[It's not in character for him to cry, so he can't do it, but he can have his voice break just a little bit and then clear his throat to make it look like he's forcing himself to regain composure after a moment of emotion.]
I told him. I told him that perhaps we could obtain another one by inducing Dissociative Identity Disorder. It was a hypothesis, and I wasn't even sure it was going to succeed. It was just a hypothesis, by then, and I couldn't possibly know that we would have gotten to this point, but...I remember to this day the way his eyes lit up. He was almost excited to try it, and ordered that I went through with it.
[He swallows audibly, pretending to fidget nervously]
I pointed out the ethical issues, but he insisted, because it would have been a very important discovery. A characteristic of AI that the world, that the galaxy at large needed to know. He said he just wanted to know if it was possible, and so I gave in and complied. We worked closely during the process, and he seemed fine, explained me very eagerly all the ways I could hurt or trigger the Alpha, and our experiment succeeded.
...I know, [he raises his hands defensively] I shouldn't have. I deeply regret it, but I thought it was going to be an isolated incident. I had hoped it was, as I felt...[What's that word that whiny empaths love, anyway?] Dirty, afterwards. Upon his request to repeat the experiment, I voiced my objections, but he overruled me and even if I didn't partake personally he ran simulations to break the Alpha by himself, in hopes to figure out a way to win the war and to turn the Beta AI into an exact copy of his wife to be with her again. I was threatened with violence, and I was afraid to leave the project because the situation had already spiraled as he sent our agents on missions to steal more material to use in the process, and I was going to be deemed responsible for it as well due to my position. Certainly it was not safe for me to report anything to the authorities...
[A little self-defeating scoff, to spice things up. It's like he's painting a masterpiece.]
Of course, I am aware that this doesn't erase the damage done and I am so sorry that my Agents are traumatized and upset over this. Agent Connecticut had sensed that the project's priorities have shifted and was the first to betray us, not without reason, as a way to put a stop to those atrocities. The Director's mental state got even worse, and he started becoming more and more violent towards me. I understood that he was under severe stress as he was afraid that being exposed would erase all the progress made so far, and he kept making fragments. As I said earlier, the Alpha AI was based on the Director, and hurting the Alpha was a form of self harm for him. Not to mention that he either dedicated his time to self harming or to trying to recreate his dead wife.
You cannot imagine how hard it was to watch a man that I admired slowly destroy himself and to be unable to help, despite wanting to - I was forced to make his health worse despite wanting to help him. The whole project at large with all its members was the closest thing to a family that I got to experience, and I wanted to be there for them, but I was forced to harm them, until the AI fragments Sigma and Epsilon broke the minds of their assigned agents and everyone started killing each other. At that point I was forced to push everyone even harder. All of them, the Director, the agents, the AI...Our original goals were so cemented when we started that we searched for soldiers with a difficult past and made our offer so that they could have a second chance, I would have never imagined it to end up like this.
[He makes a little sob 'escape'.]
As a counselor who was supposed to help people, this is my biggest failure and my deepest shame. I did serve my time in prison, after being arrested by the UNSC, but I understand that I will never pay enough for it, especially since some time after our separation the Director lost his battle against depression and took his life. I was alone against everyone and everything, and I...I didn't have the strength, but I should have been stronger and capable of putting a stop to this tragedy by myself. I understand if you don't want to forgive me. I just would like you to know that I am deeply sorry.
Thank you for listening.
[Alright, so...Apology video it is. No one ever bothered to ask him his perspective, and sure he tried to tell York but he wasn't really listening. Washington and South didn't even give him the time to say anything, really, and just attacked him physically. This video is for the freelancers too, but he figures this is going to be useful to get the sympathies of other hires who have nothing to do with the events and are now being warned about him as if he's some kind of monster or someone who everyone is too good to talk to. That is just unfair.
So here he is, making a video, wearing a white shirt he would use to sleep rather than his uniform because wearing white helps the viewers perceive him as more innocent than usual. He's trying to look unkempt, to give off a more genuine vibe, but being perfectly shaven and looking fresh as a rose doesn't help much - people should get their priorities straight and ask him to drop his skincare routine instead of being upset over petty matters. Oh well, time to start. He forces himself to give the screen a slightly pained expression as he commences.]
Good afternoon, everyone.
I am the former Counselor of Project Freelancer. My name is Aiden Price.
[His lips compress and curl downwards in genuine dismay as he is not comfortable with having a name, at this point. He's perfectly aware that others, by now, are surely weirded out and thinking 'ew why does IT have a name?'. The dehumanization has got to him to the point he gladly does it to himself, clearly he's the victim here.]
For some of you, the situation I am going to adress now is from many years ago, but a select few still have fresh wounds. In fact, the reason why I waited to make this apology was that I did not want to diminish their perspective, in no way whatsoever I intend to invalidate their feelings and I acknowledge my role in the actions that damaged them to such extent. I am sure that my Agents have already shared their side of the story, and if you haven't got to witness it I invite you to do so because it is very important to listen to both sides.
[Totally not a jab at the freelancer for how much they like to bitch without giving him the time to say anything because 'it's a manipulation';. This IS a manipulation, mind you, but still. Rude.]
As you may have heard, Project Freelancer was an organization with the aim of ending the Great War to save our species through the study and usage of advanced technology, namely armour enhancements and Artificial Intelligence to run them. This was a noble purpose, and it was the reason why I signed up to partake when I was assigned to the project. Our Director, Doctor Leonard Church - may he rest in peace - was granted an AI based on himself, the Alpha. Our leaderboard system was important as it determined that only the best our agents was going to obtain the AI to run their equipment, because we cared about the protocol and didn't want our most important asset to fall in enemy hands. All was well, until...Someone else came into the picture.
[His expression darkens, mostly for show.]
Agent Texas was different from her teammates. Not only she was an Artificial Intelligence, she was a byproduct of the Alpha. She split off him. We did not even know such thing was possible, at the time. She was based on the memory of Allison Church, the Director's deceased wife, a ghost come back to haunt him. The Director was struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation ever since he lost her many years before and had to raise their daughter alone, and seeing her again caused a quick decline of his already poor mental state. At first, I wasn't able to notice it: he said that that event made him understand that it was possible to create fragments, and that he wanted to study further so that we could have more to win the war. We spent many days trying to figure out what was the key factor, and one day I found out. The key factor was trauma, and...
[It's not in character for him to cry, so he can't do it, but he can have his voice break just a little bit and then clear his throat to make it look like he's forcing himself to regain composure after a moment of emotion.]
I told him. I told him that perhaps we could obtain another one by inducing Dissociative Identity Disorder. It was a hypothesis, and I wasn't even sure it was going to succeed. It was just a hypothesis, by then, and I couldn't possibly know that we would have gotten to this point, but...I remember to this day the way his eyes lit up. He was almost excited to try it, and ordered that I went through with it.
[He swallows audibly, pretending to fidget nervously]
I pointed out the ethical issues, but he insisted, because it would have been a very important discovery. A characteristic of AI that the world, that the galaxy at large needed to know. He said he just wanted to know if it was possible, and so I gave in and complied. We worked closely during the process, and he seemed fine, explained me very eagerly all the ways I could hurt or trigger the Alpha, and our experiment succeeded.
...I know, [he raises his hands defensively] I shouldn't have. I deeply regret it, but I thought it was going to be an isolated incident. I had hoped it was, as I felt...[What's that word that whiny empaths love, anyway?] Dirty, afterwards. Upon his request to repeat the experiment, I voiced my objections, but he overruled me and even if I didn't partake personally he ran simulations to break the Alpha by himself, in hopes to figure out a way to win the war and to turn the Beta AI into an exact copy of his wife to be with her again. I was threatened with violence, and I was afraid to leave the project because the situation had already spiraled as he sent our agents on missions to steal more material to use in the process, and I was going to be deemed responsible for it as well due to my position. Certainly it was not safe for me to report anything to the authorities...
[A little self-defeating scoff, to spice things up. It's like he's painting a masterpiece.]
Of course, I am aware that this doesn't erase the damage done and I am so sorry that my Agents are traumatized and upset over this. Agent Connecticut had sensed that the project's priorities have shifted and was the first to betray us, not without reason, as a way to put a stop to those atrocities. The Director's mental state got even worse, and he started becoming more and more violent towards me. I understood that he was under severe stress as he was afraid that being exposed would erase all the progress made so far, and he kept making fragments. As I said earlier, the Alpha AI was based on the Director, and hurting the Alpha was a form of self harm for him. Not to mention that he either dedicated his time to self harming or to trying to recreate his dead wife.
You cannot imagine how hard it was to watch a man that I admired slowly destroy himself and to be unable to help, despite wanting to - I was forced to make his health worse despite wanting to help him. The whole project at large with all its members was the closest thing to a family that I got to experience, and I wanted to be there for them, but I was forced to harm them, until the AI fragments Sigma and Epsilon broke the minds of their assigned agents and everyone started killing each other. At that point I was forced to push everyone even harder. All of them, the Director, the agents, the AI...Our original goals were so cemented when we started that we searched for soldiers with a difficult past and made our offer so that they could have a second chance, I would have never imagined it to end up like this.
[He makes a little sob 'escape'.]
As a counselor who was supposed to help people, this is my biggest failure and my deepest shame. I did serve my time in prison, after being arrested by the UNSC, but I understand that I will never pay enough for it, especially since some time after our separation the Director lost his battle against depression and took his life. I was alone against everyone and everything, and I...I didn't have the strength, but I should have been stronger and capable of putting a stop to this tragedy by myself. I understand if you don't want to forgive me. I just would like you to know that I am deeply sorry.
Thank you for listening.
no subject
I see.
[He's slightly sad, but he's also pissed off, even if the voice and face are practically unable to let it show. He's going to put this little girl in her place, right under North.]
I was going to say that if anything the 'lying' and the bad reputation would be common ground between us, but I believe you will overcome unpopularity easily: despite your missteps, Agent North will always be willing to come and clean up. You might want to ask him to fill you in.
no subject
[ Oh, that was a mistake. South goes from looking mildly annoyed at his bullshit at best to outright enraged, like if she could hit him through the comm. and finish what she and Washington started she would do it in a second. ]
We have nothing in ████ing common, you piece of ████. North isn't cleaning up ████ for me and if you try and poke your nose where it doesn't ████ing belong, I will not ████ing hesitate to finish what we started the other day. Got it?
no subject
How about you ████ing do it, then?
[Swearing is indelicate, and he's far too pretty for it, but it's the only language she understands and plus he'll get to unsettle her little monkey brain.]
You're not the only one paying for others' actions, and the Director sacrificed me as easily as he sacrificed all of you. I'm the one who was in jail, and then transferred to another jail, and then trasferred here, he made me work hard and pay for his stupid decisions that I had objected to, without even remembering what my ████ing name is after ten years of me cleaning his ████ing ████, and still with how everything turned out I still cleaned up half of his ████-ups so at this point if you get here and kill me you're really, really making me a ████ing favour, South.
[There. That was so ugly, but at least it's convincing. Mostly because he actually means it, but ugh that was so inelegant, how does South not live with a bag on her head? It would help her so much, especially with the hair.
Still, the Director was an asshole to him in front of the agents too, all the time. He might as well get some pebble out of his shoe. He logs off, satisfied with burning the very much cursed image of him swearing in South's brain forever.]
no subject
[ South just... blinks, utterly blindsided, at the camera. ]
I... what the ████ was that? Did that actually just happen or have I finally lost my ████ing mind?
[ All thoughts of actually going to beat him up are now thoroughly pushed aside by the utter slap in the face that is witnessing Aiden Price swear. ]
video --> action
He's 50 and the cycle doesn't seem to be stopping, life doesn't have much to offer him and at this point he doesn't even really want to manipulate people because gaining their trust and listening to their boring whining is too much effort, he just wants to chill and since he can't he's just going to end it all.]
I'm here. Come on.
no subject
[ If South was in disbelief before, she looks positively bewildered now. Sure, she wants to beat the Counselor up but when the guy apparently wants it too... well, it's either a trap or it's just plain disturbing. ]
What? What the fuck are you— dude I'm not actually gonna fucking kill you, that wouldn't do me any fucking favours.
no subject
Why not?
no subject
I don't think Jorgmund would like me fucking killing one of their workers [ especially not after she broadcasted her intentions to fuck him up, there'd be no denying it ] so nah, get the fuck outta here.
no subject
[The first words that come to his mind to follow to that are 'I will save you the trouble', but he too seems weirded out by that so his eyes just get wide open in realization for a second and then he just stands there with a blank expression. Well, more blank than usual.]
no subject
[ This... is so fucking weird. What the fuck is this? Does this dude actually want to die? Fuck, she can't even beat him up a little now. ]
Alright, out. Go on. You fucking weird little—
[ The most physical she's going to get with him is just giving him a shove towards the exit to snap him out of whatever made him freeze up. ]
no subject
Oh, we both know you are going to regret this!
no subject
[ South looks disturbed. What is with this guy right now? ]
Yeah yeah, whatever, I said get out. Shoo. Fuck off.
[ She gives him one more shove and then backs off, refusing to risk giving him what he wants. ]
no subject
He just gives her another empty stare and then quietly goes back to his own room.]
no subject
What. The. Fuck.
[ South stares after him to make sure he actually leaves and then collapses back on her own bed, dragging her hands down her face. There's no way this day can get any weirder. (There is. There really is.) ]