piper90 | Entries tagged with north dakota

This is Carolina. I've been asked to make a... public service-slash-safety announcement.

[ Carolina looks tired. Carolina also sounds tired, her voice is as dry as the Sahara. From how her eyes keep flicking downward, she's evidently reading something aloud. (And, on occasion, squinting judgmentally at the choices of whoever wrote it.) ]

It has come to the attention of management that certain individuals were... particularly enthusiastic about our recent Mandatory Fun Team Building Activity.

[ She pronounces the capital letters. As for the activity: It was paintball. There were winners. There were losers. There were tears. Carolina is very much among those who may have won a little too hard and has the bruises to prove it.

So do some other people.

She continues, still mostly monotone. ]

While employee participation in Mandatory Fun Activities is compulsory and enthusiasm is encouraged, management wishes to remind you that it is our goal here at Jorgmund to win together. Unsportsmanlike behavior, excessive force, and - [ She hesitates for just a split second, clenching her jaw as she obviously swallows the desire to argue ] - bending of the rules are not welcome in Mandatory Fun and may result in corrective action.

Those who have demonstrated a need for corrective action today already know who they are.

[ She gives the camera a long, significant, withering look. ]

This concludes the public service-slash-safety announcement. Have a pleasant day and...

[ She doesn't roll her eyes, but it's a very near thing. ]

...remember we're all here to make this better, together.

((OOC: This post is intended to refer to a big, stupid, chaotic game that is described through what characters say/what kind of shape they're in/what they complain about afterward. Improvise, imply need for corrective action, find ways your character got to sit out and laugh at everyone else, etc. Have fun with it! ))

princesspower

[ Adora fidgets with her communicator, staring at the screen, her brow furrowed as the video feed starts up. She's in a bed in the infirmary, with some bandaging on her head where she's was previously bleeding from the scalp. She looks tired, mostly. ]

Hey everybody. I just - I guess I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let myself get taken out like that. Everyone had to deal with that because of me. I screwed up. I won't let it happen again. Uh - I guess that's about it.

ownperson

Alright, locking this because if the guys in the other rooms are being anything like us there's messes we don't need the corps seeing us fuckin' making, or worse, but whatever, point is:

[ South holds up a colour printout of all the current Hires faces, with all the teens and younger circled, but numerous others' faces crossed through with Xs:

Guts
Kevin Armstrong
Breq Mianaai
Ronald McDonald
Alia
Dan Sagittarius
Agent Washington
Agent New York
Agent South Dakota
Sarah Kerrigan
Aiden Price
Lavernius Tucker
Carolina
Agent North Dakota
Nora Valkyree
Sam Winchester
Brandon Saint John
Rune Saint John
Garviel Loken
Mackenzie Haynes
Rogue ]

We found a fuckin' doozy. Gonna guess the crosses mean we specifically weren't what this thing was fuckin' looking for in a target for copying.

Like we said earlier, we also found Santa's sack in the shower like the thing was trying to wash it out and a whole lot of candy it probably dumped from it. The closet in here was missing a medium uniform and the locks in here are all fucked, but like... carefully fucked. And... that's it? [ she looks over at Kerrigan as if to confirm, then back at the camera ] So far, anyway.

What the fuck's everyone else found? Assuming we haven't been the only team actually getting shit done.

bothbarrels

θ: Who here is an artificial life form? How were you created?

θ: Who here has siblings? How do you get along?

θ: Who here has a close friend who you consider closer than family? How did you develop that bond?

θ: Who here knows you died back where you came from? How are you dealing with that information?

[ Yes, it's the middle of the night and Theta is bored. Plus he just wants to know more about the people here. He hopes everyone who responds sticks to text; he doesn't want to awaken North. ]

piper90npcs

[In the middle of the night, when even the night watch shifts should be pacing through the dorm area, there’s a peal of noise from the communicators impossible to ignore or sleep through. It’s clearly an alarm of some sort, like tornado alerts back on Earth. It goes on for solid three minutes, long enough for everyone to move on from being woken by it to loathing it, before a message shows up on the communicators-

-and the doorways out of each of the dorms are sealed with a semi-translucent forcefield.

On the communicator screen, Richard Washburn shows up and straightens his tie.]

Hello, employees. Believe me, I’m not any happier about this midnight interruption than you are, but we’re currently in a state of – mild – emergency. I don’t want anyone to get overly excited, but until the situation is resolved, you will remain in your dorms. Depending on how long this takes, all activities scheduled for tomorrow morning have been suspended.

The reason for this is that we have an intruder in your living quarters. We have this footage from a few weeks ago.

[A new image shows up on the communicator: a security camera video of a Santa Claus with a line of the highest executive-level parents and their small children waiting to tell him their wishlist. A little girl in pigtails and a sparkly t-shirt of a Christmas tree hops up onto his lap.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa says, and he boops her nose. “Aren’t you a peach? Tell me, little one. What would you like for Christmas?”

“I want a big plastic spider!” the girl says excitedly.

“A creepy little child, aren’t you? Well, that’s just swell, because that’s my favorite flavor,” Santa says, and then – blurry on the security camera footage – transforms into a mass of black goo, latching onto the little girl’s face and suctioning to stay on. The child’s mother screams and yanks her daughter away, and the footage shows pure pandemonium as some parents lunge forward to help the mother with her daughter while other parents snatch their own children and start running. In all the chaos, the black goo vanishes.

Washburn flicks the footage away and reappears on the screen.]

Thankfully, there were no fatalities in this incident, and after we couldn’t find any evidence of the attacker, we assumed that it was a freak incident of the Stuff. However, there was recently another unsuccessful attack on a teenager by this same creature posing as one of the tutors on the Rig, and then again on another thankfully unharmed child disguised as another child, and then on another child under the guise of a children’s television show host named “Mr. Rogers”, and tonight-

[He takes a deep breath, annoyed, as if this is somehow the Hires’ faults.]

-tonight we found a security breach to your floor, and we have good reason to believe that the shapeshifter is posing as one of you.

We know this: we know it poses as figures appealing to children, so for obvious reasons, you won’t be allowed anywhere near any Jorgmund staff whatsoever until this is resolved. We know that its ability to disguise itself is relatively seamless. And we know that it preys on minors.

If you can determine who among you isn’t at all appealing to children, we can consider releasing you from your dorm and discussing next steps to search out whoever’s been replaced.

If this starts taking long enough that it jeopardizes the Jorgmund’s mission, we may start taking more drastic measures to ensure that we aren’t harboring any imposters.

I’ll keep you updated if you keep me updated.

tarnishedavenger

So, we've got a load of new people, and that means it's time for me to do the only thing it feels like I get on these comms to do anymore: AMAs.

For you new people, I find it helps when we get together and explain a little bit about ourselves, any powers we have, and our skillsets. That way we know what we're starting with and what we can build off of. So, please, come and introduce yourselves and be willing to answer questions.

morebetter

[ooc: Mac's opt-out post, as this thread will undoubtedly contain misogyny, alcoholism, homophobia, etc, is here.]

So it’s come to this. Some of you have reached out to me, and I don’t blame you, for dating advice. I am, after all, very experienced in scoring with women, and they usually find me pretty irresistible as well, as the walk-in clinic can attest.

Anyways. I used to have a system called the “M.A.C.”, a.k.a. “Move in After Completion”, where I’d help my buddy seduce a chick by pretending to be the booksmart friend and then when he ghosted her, I’d go comfort-bang her, but it turns out that that got really old after a while because they’d like, cry all the time, and women are already gross and whiny enough before they’re crying, and also she’s expect you to read her poetry or something and that’s really gay. So I dropped that one. I guess I recommend it if you’re really into getting snot all over your shoulder and pretending you give a ████, but that’s a weird kink, bro.

There’s also one I’m pretty sure works, which is breaking and entering into someone’s house to make sure they know that you’ve scoped out the weaknesses in their security system and thus, are a more securer person than whatever idiot originally installed it. That demonstrates your mastery of protecting them. If you do it in the middle of the night, and you don’t wake them up, you can use that time in the morning to do some pushups or practice your karate or something so that when they come downstairs and see you, their first thought is holy ████, that dude is RIPPED, and I’m going to let him into my body’s ████ areas immediately.

Finally, the best dating advice I can give is to lie. Lie about everything. The more you lie, the more mysterious you are. If you lie, for example, about being a secret agent fighting the KGB, and they start to ask you what that’s like, you can look at them very seriously and go [putting on a serious, dark, movie-style voice] “I could tell you but I’d have to kill you” and they’ll just swoon in mystery. You don’t even have to lie about cool stuff. You can pretend you have a car and then say [putting on a serious, dark, movie-style voice again] “I could tell you but I’d have to kill you” and they’re going to assume you drive a flying Lambo for the mob that goes to space or something, and there is nothing, nothing, nothing sexier than having sex with someone you don’t trust and know nothing about who says he’s gonna kill you.

Anyway, apply literally any of these, and you losers will be swimming in ████ by sundown.

( I’ve made a visual aid for the illiterates. )

myagents

- trigger warning for: mentions of psychological torture, war crimes, and self-harm/suicide -

[Alright, so...Apology video it is. No one ever bothered to ask him his perspective, and sure he tried to tell York but he wasn't really listening. Washington and South didn't even give him the time to say anything, really, and just attacked him physically. This video is for the freelancers too, but he figures this is going to be useful to get the sympathies of other hires who have nothing to do with the events and are now being warned about him as if he's some kind of monster or someone who everyone is too good to talk to. That is just unfair.

So here he is, making a video, wearing a white shirt he would use to sleep rather than his uniform because wearing white helps the viewers perceive him as more innocent than usual. He's trying to look unkempt, to give off a more genuine vibe, but being perfectly shaven and looking fresh as a rose doesn't help much - people should get their priorities straight and ask him to drop his skincare routine instead of being upset over petty matters. Oh well, time to start. He forces himself to give the screen a slightly pained expression as he commences.]

( Apology video )

bothbarrels

[ When North appears on the network this particular evening, he doesn't share anything about why he's so drunk or anything like that. He doesn't go mooning to the entire network about his problems or the situation with Wash and his sister. No, that's not on his agenda at all.

What's on his agenda is his ever-increasing irritation with how messy the people on the rig seem to be. ]

Look at this.

[ North turns the camera of his device to show one of the urinals in the restrooms near the living quarters of the rig. His words are slurred just enough to show to the discerning that he's pretty drunk. ]

You see that? That's filthy.

[ The camera is now turned to show North's face. He holds the device low, and walks out of the restroom. ]

And if you think I'm complaining about just one urinal you've got another think coming. Look at this hallway.

[ He turns the camera again. ]

The walls are stained. The floor is dirty.

[ There's a slight pause with a sound like him swallowing a burp. ]

And yes, I know there's parts from an oil rig and all that. But you live here. You're not telling me you lived like this wherever you came from.

And if you did...shame on you.

[ It's distant-sounding at first, but North's feed picks up York in the background calling his name and asking what's taking so long, then just: ]

Oh no.

[ A cheerful brunette appears in the feed, waving and smiling winningly. He'll make up for North insulting the entire rig with sheer charm, just you watch him. ]

Don't mind him, folks! He's just a grumpy drunk tonight, we're gonna head off now. Right, North? Bedtime. How do we turn this off?

(( ooc: as you can see, both Agents North and York of Project Freelancer are involved in this post, North in purple and York in gold. Feel free to specify either or both when you reply! ))

ownperson

[ The woman on the video may look somewhat familiar; it's the shape of her face, the ice blue of her eyes, the blonde of her hair, her height. South and her brother aren't identical, of course, but the family resemblance is clearer than she'd like it to be.

(More than ever, these days; who wants to look in your own reflection and see your dead brother's features looking back at you?)

She's shoved the sleeves of her coveralls as far up her arms as she can get them, revealing a variety of tattoos up one of her muscled arms. There's hints of old purple dye in the front of her hair. Around her neck there's a puck, dangling from a chain, holding a chip of some kind.

She looks... pissed. ]

So this ████ing sucks donkey— [She blinks, then squints.] Oh for ████'s sake, I can't even ████ing swear? ████. ████. ████ing ████-████ ████████████.

[ There's a pause of a few seconds before South visibly decides to test this thing's limits. ]

████trumpet. Bull████. ████biscuit. Dip████. ████face. Jack███. Fuck██████— ha, ████ed that one up.

Ugh, whatever. My name's South. Yes, that's a ████ing codename, no, I'm not telling you my real name. Guess I'm stuck here with the rest of... whoever the hell you guys are. Which ████ing sucks.

[ Not that things didn't suck where she came from, but at least she was something resembling free and kind of in control of how much stuff sucked. Call her old fashioned, but she'd much rather ruin her own life than have someone else do it for her. ]

prairietroubador

[The man on the comms looks pretty resigned to being stuck here for now. When he speaks, it's with a western drawl.]

Howdy folks. Name's Greg Saunders. I'm a country singer by trade and, since it'll probably hurt more'n it helps to keep it under wraps, I'm also a member of the Justice League. Which means I'm a superhero, for those of you who don't who we are.

Folks call me Vigilante. No powers, but I'm good with a gun, same with a lasso, and I throw a decent punch.

Nice to meet y'all. I wish it could be under better circumstances, but if I'm honest that ain't exactly new for me.

[Encrypted]

What exactly is the lay of the land here, anyways? Besides Jorgmund havin' no regard for our lives or limbs?

ragefeathers

First of all ████ this shit.

[ Mackenzie Haynes is one very unhappy looking young woman. She is dressed in the typical new hire garment and she glares at the camera on her device like she might be able to burn a hole in it. That changes to an almost unhinged level of outrage when she realizes that the application is bleeping out her curse word. ]

What the ████?

Why can't I say ████?

So not only did I get ████ing kidnapped, I can't even cuss about it? This is bull████.

parannoyed

[Important intel on he and Dave's attacker has been shared, important theories have been theorized. And after Wash rested and then nearly collapsed in pain the few times today he tried to move (to get a little healthy movement going to keep the swelling down or go to the bathroom instead of dealing with the indignity of using a bedpan), Wash has been forced to take on a slightly higher dosage of pain killers, alongside being given a little alien tech device on his temple to help manage it.]

[Now after sleeping most of the day, he's awake. And loopy from the combination of tech and pain killers.]

[He's managed to get his comm on and in float mode.]

[And now he's whispering to it.]

Hey. Hi. Hey little buddy, wake up. So I can say hi to other...buddies.

[Special K, the nurse who's a better doctor than Dr. Glotfelty, is teaching a newer nurse and she smiles when she sees Wash whispering to his comm. She urges the timid-looking student nurse closer. "Don't worry, Judy. Only like two percent of the big scarred tough-looking guys on the rig are Plankers. The others like Wash here melt like buttah the second you're a tiny bit nice to them. Like buttah. Don't they, Washing Machine?"]

[Wash gasps dramatically and flings out a hand for a high five.]

It's my favorite nurse. Up top! Hit your hand on my hand. Hit my hand! Do it!

["He likes high fiving a lot when he's juiced." Special K's smile is sweet and genuine as she gives him a little high five. Then she adjusts his bed to help him sit up better. His torso is a scarred mess in the places where the bandages don't cover.]

Special K. Hey. Hey. Heeeey.

["Heey. I'm here, Wash, what do you need?"]

Hey. Can I have an extra pudding?

["What are the magic words?" she asks.]

Nurses are underpaid and undervalued.

["See why I like this one?" Special K asks the student nurse, as she gets a pudding out of a nearby fridge and a spoon, and opens it for him. "Looks like only chocolate right now, Washing Machine."]

That's fiiiine. It's all good in the hospital hood. I am unto the chocolate like the...the Mayans who were all about the - the chocolate.

["Alright, have your treat, I'll see if we can get you some late lunch since you slept through breakfast, okay? And then we're taking a crack at changing your bandages and your surgical drain."]

[Wash breathes out a low whisper.] Noooo.

[Special K whispers back, "Yeeeesss.">]

[Wash whispers back.] Nooooooooo.

["You've got a half hour of whispering to your friends on your little buddy, okay?" Special K says, with a sisterly tousling of Wash's hair. He leans into it despite himself, clearly grateful for the basic kindness from someone.]

[Wash is still whispering.] Fiiiiine.

[He turns to his comm, eating his pudding.]

Heyooo.

The nurses are so nice here. But you know, I've been in sooo many Medbays and they're usually kind of nice? Nicer? Than other...people. They were even almost nice in the Medbay in prison and nobody was really nice there.

[There are a few secrets, a few things locked up in the vault of his mind even while high as a kite, but he's definitely a little more loose lipped than usual.]

Hey. Hey, can you guys - can you see these guys floating around? [Wash swats at the air with his spoon.]

["What guys, Wash?" asks Special K.]

There's shadow people in the air, like...floating?

["Mild hallucinations are sometimes a side effect at your dose of morphine and the setting on the cortical stimulator," Special K says, showing something to Judy on his chart. "What are the shadow people doing, bud?"]

They're just like...all up in my grill. [Wash turns to the comm, to the rest of his rigmates, his voice filled with mild outrage.] Are you guys - are you guys seeing this? Rude.

heterochrocatic

[ Much like poor Tenten, Catra is broadcasting live from the infirmary. In fact, if you squint you'll probably be able to see which bed she's in to relation to Tenten. The poor woman has been bandaged to hell and back, her head wrapped in dressings, though there's enough visible for it to be clear that whatever happened to her, it was necessary for that big, poofy mane of hair to be shorn away in order for it to be treated.

At least she's not missing half her face. When she speaks, her voice is rough and croaky. She's still recovering from whatever it was that happened to her a few days back. ]

I guess I'm alive. Don't everyone celebrate at once.

[ The jab is accompanied by a weak smile. ]

What'd I miss?

turntex

[The post that pops up in the feed in the middle of the night doesn't appear to be made with Dave's comm device, but it's Dave that pops up on the screen anyway, and he looks like hell. A split lip, a bruise blossoming along the jaw, nose bloodied, and...there appears to be a dirty sock caught on the collar of his uniform?

Honestly, the weirdest part is probably that it's a video post in the first place. He doesn't have time to sit around messing with this too much, though. Even as practiced at typing as he is, it's harder to do while moving and judging by the background, he's definitely on the move.]

Rise and shine, [PROFANITY CENSORED]. Elevator closest to the infirmary. I know y'all are functionally a bunch of temporally helpless infants, all shaky legged, eyes barely open and all that, but I need you to get your [PROFANITY CENSORED] down here yesterday regardless.

[He's not even trying to dance around the vulgarity filter. It's real bad.]

Found our baddie. Tall lady, redhead, red tattoos. She originally had on a suit and a blonde wig and some kinda mask but no idea if she's sticking with all that. Crazy strong and fast. Pretty sure she can heal herself up, so that's awesome. Lots of ninja weapons, like this [PROFANITY CENSORED] not only ripped off Tenten's skin but also her whole schtick, it's pretty insulting honestly. The skin thing's probably still a bigger deal but hey, I'd be pissed.

[He's babbling a little, half mumbling by the end there, but his expression remains flat and unreadable the whole time. Finally he seems to get where he's going and he pauses, swinging the camera around to the scene in question. Blood everywhere, dents and furrows in the metal walls, smoke still pouring out from the elevator shaft.

The camera spins back to him, and he somehow only looks more tense.]

She got Wash. Probably someone else too, judging by the blood she already had on her when we ran into her, but [PROFANITY CENSORED] if I know who or where.

[He leaves it at that.

For anyone actually sleeping like a normal person at this time, someone comes running through the dorm area soon afterward to bang on walls and make sure people wake up. Seems like Dave sent over the people that had been on watch outside the infirmary.]

bringinghopewithme

Stacia, Armstrong, I need to see both of you in person. On the double. Five minutes ago. Anyone else with a real good sense of smell, you come see me too.

[On the camera, underneath his oak tree in the garden, Bunny has a little bit of that dead-eyed stare that comes from being reminded how thoroughly shackled they all are to the most banal form of evil. Mostly, this is just businesslike, direct. Calmly urgent, after his furious meltdown in the Executive wing got him nowhere good.]

Everyone else: Sam and Dan and I tracked what attacked Tenten and Setsuna into the Executive wing. I smelled it there recently before the suits caught us and kicked us out.

[There's no real reason to bring up their Punishment. It happened, it hurt, he hates that he dragged Dan and Sam into it, but they all knew it was likely to happen. And if anything they learned can help prevent any further damage to the kids, it'll have absolutely been worth it.]

I couldn't identify the species, but it's supernatural, and old. Older than me. Some variety of predator. Given we tracked it into areas we're not allowed to go, and it spent a lot of time wandering around there all leisurely, it either looks enough like a suit that they gave it a pass, or it can walk through walls. If I had money, I'd put it on walking through walls. I'm not ruling out both, though.

But don't worry. Jorgmund's bringing in - [he scoffs, and rolls his eyes hugely] dogs to finish tracking it.

I'm still racking my brains to see if any memory of what it could be falls out, but if any of that rings any bells for all you, I'm all ears.

bothbarrels

Hey, there. For those I haven't met, I'm North, and I have a companion AI on board. His name is Theta, and he wanted to get on the network and ask a question. I told him I'd let him have most of the air time, so...

[ He gestures in the air at the hologram that's hovering near his shoulder. ]

Hi, everyone. Uh...North and I saw a cat when we were out the other night—actually, we saw a few of them. And I kind of wondered if anyone has seen any dogs around. I really like dogs. But I didn't see any when we were out. I thought...maybe someone has one they keep as a pet?

I can't pet it, but I thought maybe if I pretended to play with it while North was playing with it, it'd kind of be the same thing. I hope so, anyway.

pasthole

Alright. I'm back.

Don't ask me where I went. I'll save us all a lot of time by saying I have no fucking idea? I would be more disconcerted, but shit just happening for no reason is a wheelhouse with which I am passing familiar so I'm ready to move on.

What I do know is they processed me as a new hire, again, and any system communication referring to "Karkat 2" is in fact about the same long-suffering asshole you have already come to know.

Please don't send shit to my old inbox because I won't be able to access it.

Actually wait. Do send your shit to my old inbox. A fertile plot of soil conditioning can grow from everyone's unwanted inane comments. We can use it to feed our anemic and spineless earth vegetables. God knows they don't bite hard enough to get any protein.

xrater

[Oh, hey, someone's just... ( Read more... )

valkywhee

[Nora's holding her comm like she's grabbing someone's lapels, and the resulting angle is weird, but it doesn't hide that she's looking a bit. Intense at the moment.]

Where can I get a bunch of Lightning Dus--uh, electricity in a hurry? It's important.

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Entries tagged with north dakota

P(aintball) S(ervice) A(nnouncement) [Video]

[locked to new hires] post-babadon't

[locked to new hires] [video] clues

text; after the babadont plot

Jorgmund Emergency Announcement

007: AMAs, Third Round

Mac Gives Dating Advice

[VIDEO] A formal apology

[video]

[video]

Video; Set before I've Got Your Name Written Here.

video;

All Up In His Grill [video]

video;

[video]

[Video] [Locked to New Hires only] [TW for Punishment in the linked log.]

[video]

Untriumphant Returns [Text]

🛠002🛠 [Encoded]

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