xrater: (10)
[personal profile] xrater
[Alia appears on the video. She's in a bathroom, wearing a low-cut red dress and wiping make-up off of her face with the steaming hot water in the sink. When she speaks, though, it's all business.]

So, I've done some poking around. Jorgmund employs multiple wireless networks, some with secret nodes, and different security features for each. I guess that they don't want the sanitation crew using up all of the bandwidth that the President would be using.

I'm dispersing my findings via a briefing document hosted on my robot network to reduce load on Lone Star's network. Each of you gets one copy that will delete itself after you've read through it once, so remember at least part of it. Just scroll to the bottom or restart your comm unit to purge. Some of this comes from gossip I've overheard.

[She pauses, then leans in and dabs at a little black speck between her teeth with a paper towel. Peppercorn. Alia continues like she hadn't stopped.]

Others from more solid surfaces. I've seen a few unsecured medical and financial reports and a good bit of security investigations. Some things just required a bit of finger walking, totally unsecured, others were a little more technical work. I'll spare you the explanations.

Accept Data Pulse? y/n )

It goes without saying, nothing interesting on my cameras. After that last recording of Planker, he sat there for 3.7 hours, then went to bed, slept for three hours, woke up, got dressed, and went to work. From the sound of things, we can expect a new obstacle course soon. If you've any questions, I'll try to answer them, but I have work to do in the lab.
pasthole: (Default)
[personal profile] pasthole
Alright. I'm back.

Don't ask me where I went. I'll save us all a lot of time by saying I have no fucking idea? I would be more disconcerted, but shit just happening for no reason is a wheelhouse with which I am passing familiar so I'm ready to move on.

What I do know is they processed me as a new hire, again, and any system communication referring to "Karkat 2" is in fact about the same long-suffering asshole you have already come to know.

Please don't send shit to my old inbox because I won't be able to access it.

Actually wait. Do send your shit to my old inbox. A fertile plot of soil conditioning can grow from everyone's unwanted inane comments. We can use it to feed our anemic and spineless earth vegetables. God knows they don't bite hard enough to get any protein.
pasthole: (12)
[personal profile] pasthole
[ Someone makes a post. It's deleted again too quickly to read, but it was definitely riddled with redactions courtesy of the network's filter (which seems to be working today.) A few minutes pass. It happens again, the post is longer and strangely grey, but it's similarly mangled and it's already gone. A third attempt is made, much the same, then... nothing.

Several more minutes tick by. Measured. Thoughtful. Ominous. Will the OP try one more time?

Then it appears: a monstrosity of grey capslock lurches onto the network and this one sticks. The poster's name is apparently Karkat Vantas, and his profile picture fails to yield a face, only a symbol. ]


A lot of unbelievable garbage has happened to me in the last twelve hours, but this? This is it. That anguished sound you hear is the cry of the long-suffering humpbeast that is my patience, its back brutally broken at last by the weight of this final desiccated plant stalk!

I am no stranger to completely stupid communication tools, but this one? This one is truly something special. I am in awe! Do you know how long it took me to get some semblance of control over my text? Do you? I assure you from the bottom of my inflamed bile sponge that you do not!

I was lulled into a sense of false security, naively believing this could not possibly get any worse. I went to post a message! Wow what a moron I must be to have ever supposed that would be easy! Gather round everyone, time to initiate the latest rube to join the idiot carnival! He thinks he can speak his mind without a snotty line of code ripping out his teeth one by one and shoving them right back down his ignorance shaft, what fun we shall have!

Thank you, Jorgmund! Thank you so much for this useless trash, and for this insult to injury! I am so glad that not only have I been kidnapped by aliens, but now I can't even make contact with my fellow captives without first assuming the most deferential posture of insipidity so as not to *dare* offend the grub-soft gander bulbs of an audience of *presumably* fully-moulted adults! I am ecstatic to know that this is the priority here when this entire world is apparently in shambles!

There's no need to take any time out of your jam packed schedules of huffing each other's nooks just to punish my earlier misgivings! My confidence is so inspired I could just choke myself right here and now!


(( OOC: Feel free to use or not use the network's filter as you please, its wild inconsistency can be convenient and a way to drive Karkat up a wall!
Warnings (mostly that Karkat is a loud jerk) and a link to opt out of his capslock nonsense are in his permissions. ))

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