[video]

[bothbarrels]

[ When North appears on the network this particular evening, he doesn't share anything about why he's so drunk or anything like that. He doesn't go mooning to the entire network about his problems or the situation with Wash and his sister. No, that's not on his agenda at all.

What's on his agenda is his ever-increasing irritation with how messy the people on the rig seem to be. ]

Look at this.

[ North turns the camera of his device to show one of the urinals in the restrooms near the living quarters of the rig. His words are slurred just enough to show to the discerning that he's pretty drunk. ]

You see that? That's filthy.

[ The camera is now turned to show North's face. He holds the device low, and walks out of the restroom. ]

And if you think I'm complaining about just one urinal you've got another think coming. Look at this hallway.

[ He turns the camera again. ]

The walls are stained. The floor is dirty.

[ There's a slight pause with a sound like him swallowing a burp. ]

And yes, I know there's parts from an oil rig and all that. But you live here. You're not telling me you lived like this wherever you came from.

And if you did...shame on you.

[ It's distant-sounding at first, but North's feed picks up York in the background calling his name and asking what's taking so long, then just: ]

Oh no.

[ A cheerful brunette appears in the feed, waving and smiling winningly. He'll make up for North insulting the entire rig with sheer charm, just you watch him. ]

Don't mind him, folks! He's just a grumpy drunk tonight, we're gonna head off now. Right, North? Bedtime. How do we turn this off?


(( ooc: as you can see, both Agents North and York of Project Freelancer are involved in this post, North in purple and York in gold. Feel free to specify either or both when you reply! ))

Comments

voice;

[breq]

I try not to live like that, honestly.

[ Breq is quiet and a little restrained. Maybe amused. ]

But there's only one of me. I can only do so much.

voice;

[bothbarrels]

[ York has gotten North settled onto one of the cots in his room before North responds to this message. ]

Yeahh, that's my thing. If everyone pitched in, it wouldn't look like this.

[breq]

[ It was easier when it was all her and it was her she was cleaning.

But that's neither here nor there. ]

You have to understand that our employers are not the best at motivation.

video; i will gladly take Both

[humandroid]

North, if your intention is to attempt to sanitize or otherwise maintain close proximity to sub-optimal common areas while inebriated, I must advise against it.

[ There's a term for how Data looks and it's "vaguely alarmed." The bathrooms are gross. It's bad enough humans have to go there by necessity alone. But to linger... yikes. ]

Without the proper precautions, there could be health consequences.

then both you shall have!

[infailtration]

[ The angle shifts and the field of view moves again, so that Data can tell the two men are moving down the corridor. York has an arm around North to hustle him along, though he's wobbling slightly. ]

No worries, proximity is already not-close and getting farther. We're moving away, and there's a nap in his future before he's allowed to play with the cleaning products. I've got this.

You're a friend of his?

[humandroid]

[ Thank goodness.

Reason. ]

I believe it would be more accurate to say that we are acquaintances. Ideally, of course, we are not unfriendly acquaintances. I will need to discuss it with him further to be certain.

And as I consider the health and safety of fellow New Hires a matter of high priority regardless of our familiarity, I am pleased to hear that you have "got this."

[bothbarrels]

[ North doesn't get Data's message until he's finally lying in bed; he has the device lying sideways on the bed, tilted up to show his face, but at a strange angle. ]

Believe me, if I could have found some heavy-duty cleaning equipment I would have been using it.

[humandroid]

Much of the cleaning equipment available on the Rig is...

[ Having manners stinks when it comes to criticizing aspects of Rig life that aren't inherently life-threatening. He has to take a moment to consider his wording options. ]

Less than suitable for contact with organic life forms. When I have completed my daily assigned duties, I will investigate further. Perhaps a more effective means has simply been overlooked.

video and i will gladly take both 2: electric boogaloo

[fuckingaqua]

[ Hmmmm. Well, all things considered, this is probably gonna be the least shitty official introduction to a Freelancer Tucker's ever had. ]

Meh. A flamethrower'll clear those urinals out just fine, dude. They're not so special. [ He knows it's not a trustworthy trade school course on plumbing when Sarge is teaching.

It's way funnier, though. ]

I'm saving my shame tickets up for bigger prizes anyway. You guys should get on my level already.

video;

[infailtration]

[ Well that's horrifying. York is faaaaaairly certain that the guy in the video is kidding around, but ew. Ew. He answers in his trademark breezy tone as he hustles North back to his room. ]

Mmm, burning pee fumes. That sounds several leagues worse than sanitizer fumes, thanks for making me imagine it.

[ Also, what the hell are shame tickets? ]

What's your level?

video;

[fuckingaqua]

Look, if it sucks either way, you might as well get to use a flamethrower like a badass. Fire's sanitary. It's science.

[ SHRUG. This conversation is really in his language of pretending not to care about a lot of things. A balm on the part of his soul that is constantly screeching, exhausted, about the ways he sucks when it really matters. ]

So as you can see, my level is basically thinking about useless bullshit instead of huge problems 'cause I don't know what I'm doing. What I do know is between the huge problems and the useless bullshit, I don't have time to care about the fact that I'm an idiot. And once you do that for like ten years, it really frees you up.

[bothbarrels]

[ North responds to Tucker's message after he's lying in bed and lounging on his side next to his device. ]

I don't exactly want to, you know. Set the entire rig on fire.

[fuckingaqua]

[ It's probably objectively good for anybody not to be sticking their face all up into dirty Rig sections anymore. Get shitfaced and just vibe. That's easier. ]

Would that be a huge loss? Y'know, assuming you gave everyone else the heads up about it.

voice

[myagents]

[Price watches North rant about others' cleaning habits with much endearment. It so obviously isn't the actual problem, it's kind of cute, honestly. Looking for dirty and broken things so that he can fix them or point out 'the right thing to do' to have everyone unite under the flag of his brotherly advice. Typical.

One day, Price has always told himself during PFL, he is going to break things and people on purpose in order to do his thing, and he will find it even more satisfying. That would make him a great apprentice for his art, shame he's still got all that benevolence in him...

He's quickly distracted by someone else's sudden arrival. He can barely believe it.]

Agent York? Is that you?

Re: voice

[infailtration]

[ York recognizes the voice instantly. It's been years now but how many evaluations had he been through with that voice, calm and smooth and somehow unnerving. The Counselor is here.

That's the last thing North needs right now, someone screwing with his head when he has to much to sort out. It's not something York needs, either, though at least he's sober and entertaining a fantasy of punching the Counselor directly in his unfalteringly placid expression. ]

No. Nope. You can fuck right off. Bye.

[ But he still isn't sure how to turn this thing off and has an armful of North so can't even really reach. Price can keep talking. ]

Re: voice

[myagents]

[Agent York, of all people, trying to be confrontational is pathetic. Even if he had his moments, Price remembers him as a dog with the tail between his his legs at the slightest raise of volume. Hopefully this parallel universe anomaly made him more interesting.]

You might want to right click the icon and select 'quit', pressing the X will only reduce the window while keeping the program open.

[He says in the most patronizing tone he has, even if his standard tone is very patronizing already.]

voice

[runes_brand]

[Hm. Drunk, upset about something, and not locked down; that's a bad combination for operational security. Not his fucking problem under normal circumstances, but these aren't normal circumstances, so Brand rolls to his feet and taps the button to respond.]

Need a hand there?

[The question's aimed at the second guy, but it's not like the first isn't going to hear him just fine.]

((ooc: both is fine!))

Re: voice

[infailtration]

I've got him, don't worry. But if you want to say you'll clean the bathroom so he calms down and I don't have to leave him alone to do it myself, that'd be helpful.

Re: voice

[runes_brand]

...I'll say it, sure.

[But will he do it? Not without assistance from at least one of the people responsible. They won't have to work very hard, he can figure out how to use a human head as a scrub brush. Even when it's still attached to the human in question.]

not here

[ownperson]

[ South's laid in the dark in the currently empty room she shares with North when the video goes out. She doesn't know why she bothers watching. What she should do is just put her comm aside, ignore it, but she doesn't.

He's drunk. He's with York. Neither of those things mean anything good, not for her. If he's drunk, he's upset. If he's upset, then he's probably been talking to York and well, she figures everyone's in the loop now.

Fucking wonderful.

And then there's the goddamn cleanliness thing and fuck, it makes something in her chest twinge. Makes her think about things she doesn't want to think about, remember things she doesn't want to remember.

Some small part of her wants to respond, wants to make sure that York knows what he's doing, that North's okay.

But the bigger part of her is still angry and bitter and hurt. So, too late, she throws the comm aside and drags her hands over her face, hissing at herself to stop being stupid. He made it clear where they stood. They haven't talked in days. She doesn't care anymore.

So why does she still feel like shit when it becomes clear he's not coming back to their bunk, tonight? ]

[walkingballpit]

Are you trying to get yourself put on toilet patrol? Because I'm pretty sure that the guy who complains about the sanitary condition gets Planker standing over him saying "What's the matter? Not prissy enough for you, Yorkie? We-ell, I know how we bring things up to your standards. Grab your toothbrush, son, and get scrubbin'!"

[infailtration]

He's not, he's not, and I'm definitely not -- wait, who's Planker?

[walkingballpit]

The guy who runs Phys Ed for the New Hires. And sorry to throw you in there, but Yorkie sounds cooler than Northie.

[bothbarrels]

[ North doesn't get around to answering this one until the morning, having been put to sleep by York and a scalp massage the night before. He's still lounging in bed when he checks his messages, and he rolls over to his stomach and props the device up to show his face before connecting. ]

I'll clean it myself if I have to, but I wouldn't mind if people actually pitched in. Was kind of mad about it, last night, though.

[piper90npcs]

A toothbrush is traditional. With a history going back a good, long time. It's a standard item for standard failures.

This is a potato. Collect it, son, and get to scrubbin'.