piper90 | [video]

[ When North appears on the network this particular evening, he doesn't share anything about why he's so drunk or anything like that. He doesn't go mooning to the entire network about his problems or the situation with Wash and his sister. No, that's not on his agenda at all.

What's on his agenda is his ever-increasing irritation with how messy the people on the rig seem to be. ]

Look at this.

[ North turns the camera of his device to show one of the urinals in the restrooms near the living quarters of the rig. His words are slurred just enough to show to the discerning that he's pretty drunk. ]

You see that? That's filthy.

[ The camera is now turned to show North's face. He holds the device low, and walks out of the restroom. ]

And if you think I'm complaining about just one urinal you've got another think coming. Look at this hallway.

[ He turns the camera again. ]

The walls are stained. The floor is dirty.

[ There's a slight pause with a sound like him swallowing a burp. ]

And yes, I know there's parts from an oil rig and all that. But you live here. You're not telling me you lived like this wherever you came from.

And if you did...shame on you.

[ It's distant-sounding at first, but North's feed picks up York in the background calling his name and asking what's taking so long, then just: ]

Oh no.

[ A cheerful brunette appears in the feed, waving and smiling winningly. He'll make up for North insulting the entire rig with sheer charm, just you watch him. ]

Don't mind him, folks! He's just a grumpy drunk tonight, we're gonna head off now. Right, North? Bedtime. How do we turn this off?

(( ooc: as you can see, both Agents North and York of Project Freelancer are involved in this post, North in purple and York in gold. Feel free to specify either or both when you reply! ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mmn?

[ It takes North a moment to process that he's being spoken to, and that he apparently should have been paying attention to what was being said before that. But process it he does, after a bit. ]

He's cleaning? Good.

[Brand considers attaching Rune's name to the promise to clean the bathroom -- teach him to cheat and tell the Tower about their bet -- but he doesn't want Jorgmund staffers to hear it and stick him with the job.]

Yeah, someone else is taking responsibility for the cleaning. It's off your shoulders. Go to bed.

[The next bit he directs to the other guy, not North.]

Get some water in him. If he's still being antsy once you get him into bed, try a scalp massage.

[Rune rarely has trouble going to sleep -- waking up, yes, but not going to sleep -- but that doesn't mean that Brand hasn't picked up a few tricks.]

Done that, it's why he was in the bathroom in the first place.

[ He gets North into his room and over to the bunk, settling him there and trying to soothe him into lying down. ]

Scalp massage? That sounds pretty nice, thanks for the tip. You wrangle a lot of restless drunks?

Just the one drunk, and not that frequently. Got a few other restless sleepers, though.

[Everyone on the Sun Estate is living with some kind of trauma, except maybe Queenie. And the restless dead, but only because they're not living with anything.]

But that's about the end of my advice on putting people to sleep, unless you want to talk choke holds.

I'm familiar with that. And choke holds, but I don't think we'll have to go there. Thanks again.

[ He winks, and the feed cuts off -- Brand will get a call about fifteen minutes later, though. It's just York this time, and he's speaking from the hallway in hushed tones. ]

Hey, it worked. He's out like a light. I just realized I didn't get your name.

[It's a moment before Brand answers, he'd gone back to working out. He checks and confirms that this follow-up also isn't locked down and answers accordingly.]

Brand. I'm the guy who showed up and tried to break the language filter.

Brand, got it. I'm York, just arrived so I have no idea what you're talking about but it sounds like fun?

Depends on how you feel about annoying [BEEP]ing sounds.

[Like that one, for example. But Brand dislikes other people trying to modify his behavior more than he dislikes annoying noises, so here they are.]

Got here not too long ago myself. I take it North's been here awhile?

Hm, I'm okay with it.

[ He doesn't curse all that much, which he assumes is what just happened there, but he nods at Brand's question. ]

Yeah. He'll be giving me the grand tour when he sobers up, I don't want to leave him to explore.

The guy I know has been here for a month.

[Brand says the words neutrally enough, but York is probably familiar enough with the sound of "pissed off but too much of a professional to show it" to recognize it when he hears it.]

From what he's told me, the primary risk of exploring on your own right now is getting lost.

It was more 'in case he wakes up,' not 'in case there's something dangerous,' but that's good to know.

[ He does catch that tone, though. ]

You okay? Besides the obvious.

Fair enough. Wouldn't want him checking the bathrooms again. [Because Brand absolutely is not in there cleaning them. He can aim, thank you very much.

York's follow up question gets one of those "you don't need to ask, I'm always fine" sort of grunts. There are a lot of things going on here that Brand isn't fine with, but he's not talking about them with anyone except maybe Rune.]

I'll live. The training area isn't bad.

Man cannot live on workouts alone, Brand.

[Brand snorts, but it's an amused noise.]

You haven't known me long enough to start [BEEP]ing about my work out regime.

I'd say that to anybody. There's nowhere else decent here?

The gardens, if you like plants or chickens. The top deck, if the view doesn't [BEEP] you up. The library, if you like books. Collections gives you a good idea of the kind of [BEEP] you might encounter off the Rig.

[Strongly not recommended: the relaxation wing. But Brand's not admitting on public communications that being in there for more than ten minutes makes him want to stab things.]

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll ask North to show me around when he's sobered up.

"Collections"? Like a menagerie?

No, it's a room full of magical artifacts Jorgmund has scrounged up. Or Stuff artifacts, but they sure as [BEEP] look like magic to me.

Huh. So more like a museum. Do they do weird shit?

Except your allowed to touch the pieces, yeah. Where are you from that magical artifacts don't do weird [BEEP]?

There's no such thing as magical anything where I'm from?

[Or maybe he just doesn't know about the magic. Brand's not going to argue with him.]

Fair enough. Yes, they do weird [BEEP]. Nothing that's going to kill you though, unless you try to use them really creatively.

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