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[VIDEO] A formal apology
- trigger warning for: mentions of psychological torture, war crimes, and self-harm/suicide -
[Alright, so...Apology video it is. No one ever bothered to ask him his perspective, and sure he tried to tell York but he wasn't really listening. Washington and South didn't even give him the time to say anything, really, and just attacked him physically. This video is for the freelancers too, but he figures this is going to be useful to get the sympathies of other hires who have nothing to do with the events and are now being warned about him as if he's some kind of monster or someone who everyone is too good to talk to. That is just unfair.
So here he is, making a video, wearing a white shirt he would use to sleep rather than his uniform because wearing white helps the viewers perceive him as more innocent than usual. He's trying to look unkempt, to give off a more genuine vibe, but being perfectly shaven and looking fresh as a rose doesn't help much - people should get their priorities straight and ask him to drop his skincare routine instead of being upset over petty matters. Oh well, time to start. He forces himself to give the screen a slightly pained expression as he commences.]
Good afternoon, everyone.
I am the former Counselor of Project Freelancer. My name is Aiden Price.
[His lips compress and curl downwards in genuine dismay as he is not comfortable with having a name, at this point. He's perfectly aware that others, by now, are surely weirded out and thinking 'ew why does IT have a name?'. The dehumanization has got to him to the point he gladly does it to himself, clearly he's the victim here.]
For some of you, the situation I am going to adress now is from many years ago, but a select few still have fresh wounds. In fact, the reason why I waited to make this apology was that I did not want to diminish their perspective, in no way whatsoever I intend to invalidate their feelings and I acknowledge my role in the actions that damaged them to such extent. I am sure that my Agents have already shared their side of the story, and if you haven't got to witness it I invite you to do so because it is very important to listen to both sides.
[Totally not a jab at the freelancer for how much they like to bitch without giving him the time to say anything because 'it's a manipulation';. This IS a manipulation, mind you, but still. Rude.]
As you may have heard, Project Freelancer was an organization with the aim of ending the Great War to save our species through the study and usage of advanced technology, namely armour enhancements and Artificial Intelligence to run them. This was a noble purpose, and it was the reason why I signed up to partake when I was assigned to the project. Our Director, Doctor Leonard Church - may he rest in peace - was granted an AI based on himself, the Alpha. Our leaderboard system was important as it determined that only the best our agents was going to obtain the AI to run their equipment, because we cared about the protocol and didn't want our most important asset to fall in enemy hands. All was well, until...Someone else came into the picture.
[His expression darkens, mostly for show.]
Agent Texas was different from her teammates. Not only she was an Artificial Intelligence, she was a byproduct of the Alpha. She split off him. We did not even know such thing was possible, at the time. She was based on the memory of Allison Church, the Director's deceased wife, a ghost come back to haunt him. The Director was struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation ever since he lost her many years before and had to raise their daughter alone, and seeing her again caused a quick decline of his already poor mental state. At first, I wasn't able to notice it: he said that that event made him understand that it was possible to create fragments, and that he wanted to study further so that we could have more to win the war. We spent many days trying to figure out what was the key factor, and one day I found out. The key factor was trauma, and...
[It's not in character for him to cry, so he can't do it, but he can have his voice break just a little bit and then clear his throat to make it look like he's forcing himself to regain composure after a moment of emotion.]
I told him. I told him that perhaps we could obtain another one by inducing Dissociative Identity Disorder. It was a hypothesis, and I wasn't even sure it was going to succeed. It was just a hypothesis, by then, and I couldn't possibly know that we would have gotten to this point, but...I remember to this day the way his eyes lit up. He was almost excited to try it, and ordered that I went through with it.
[He swallows audibly, pretending to fidget nervously]
I pointed out the ethical issues, but he insisted, because it would have been a very important discovery. A characteristic of AI that the world, that the galaxy at large needed to know. He said he just wanted to know if it was possible, and so I gave in and complied. We worked closely during the process, and he seemed fine, explained me very eagerly all the ways I could hurt or trigger the Alpha, and our experiment succeeded.
...I know, [he raises his hands defensively] I shouldn't have. I deeply regret it, but I thought it was going to be an isolated incident. I had hoped it was, as I felt...[What's that word that whiny empaths love, anyway?] Dirty, afterwards. Upon his request to repeat the experiment, I voiced my objections, but he overruled me and even if I didn't partake personally he ran simulations to break the Alpha by himself, in hopes to figure out a way to win the war and to turn the Beta AI into an exact copy of his wife to be with her again. I was threatened with violence, and I was afraid to leave the project because the situation had already spiraled as he sent our agents on missions to steal more material to use in the process, and I was going to be deemed responsible for it as well due to my position. Certainly it was not safe for me to report anything to the authorities...
[A little self-defeating scoff, to spice things up. It's like he's painting a masterpiece.]
Of course, I am aware that this doesn't erase the damage done and I am so sorry that my Agents are traumatized and upset over this. Agent Connecticut had sensed that the project's priorities have shifted and was the first to betray us, not without reason, as a way to put a stop to those atrocities. The Director's mental state got even worse, and he started becoming more and more violent towards me. I understood that he was under severe stress as he was afraid that being exposed would erase all the progress made so far, and he kept making fragments. As I said earlier, the Alpha AI was based on the Director, and hurting the Alpha was a form of self harm for him. Not to mention that he either dedicated his time to self harming or to trying to recreate his dead wife.
You cannot imagine how hard it was to watch a man that I admired slowly destroy himself and to be unable to help, despite wanting to - I was forced to make his health worse despite wanting to help him. The whole project at large with all its members was the closest thing to a family that I got to experience, and I wanted to be there for them, but I was forced to harm them, until the AI fragments Sigma and Epsilon broke the minds of their assigned agents and everyone started killing each other. At that point I was forced to push everyone even harder. All of them, the Director, the agents, the AI...Our original goals were so cemented when we started that we searched for soldiers with a difficult past and made our offer so that they could have a second chance, I would have never imagined it to end up like this.
[He makes a little sob 'escape'.]
As a counselor who was supposed to help people, this is my biggest failure and my deepest shame. I did serve my time in prison, after being arrested by the UNSC, but I understand that I will never pay enough for it, especially since some time after our separation the Director lost his battle against depression and took his life. I was alone against everyone and everything, and I...I didn't have the strength, but I should have been stronger and capable of putting a stop to this tragedy by myself. I understand if you don't want to forgive me. I just would like you to know that I am deeply sorry.
Thank you for listening.
[Alright, so...Apology video it is. No one ever bothered to ask him his perspective, and sure he tried to tell York but he wasn't really listening. Washington and South didn't even give him the time to say anything, really, and just attacked him physically. This video is for the freelancers too, but he figures this is going to be useful to get the sympathies of other hires who have nothing to do with the events and are now being warned about him as if he's some kind of monster or someone who everyone is too good to talk to. That is just unfair.
So here he is, making a video, wearing a white shirt he would use to sleep rather than his uniform because wearing white helps the viewers perceive him as more innocent than usual. He's trying to look unkempt, to give off a more genuine vibe, but being perfectly shaven and looking fresh as a rose doesn't help much - people should get their priorities straight and ask him to drop his skincare routine instead of being upset over petty matters. Oh well, time to start. He forces himself to give the screen a slightly pained expression as he commences.]
Good afternoon, everyone.
I am the former Counselor of Project Freelancer. My name is Aiden Price.
[His lips compress and curl downwards in genuine dismay as he is not comfortable with having a name, at this point. He's perfectly aware that others, by now, are surely weirded out and thinking 'ew why does IT have a name?'. The dehumanization has got to him to the point he gladly does it to himself, clearly he's the victim here.]
For some of you, the situation I am going to adress now is from many years ago, but a select few still have fresh wounds. In fact, the reason why I waited to make this apology was that I did not want to diminish their perspective, in no way whatsoever I intend to invalidate their feelings and I acknowledge my role in the actions that damaged them to such extent. I am sure that my Agents have already shared their side of the story, and if you haven't got to witness it I invite you to do so because it is very important to listen to both sides.
[Totally not a jab at the freelancer for how much they like to bitch without giving him the time to say anything because 'it's a manipulation';. This IS a manipulation, mind you, but still. Rude.]
As you may have heard, Project Freelancer was an organization with the aim of ending the Great War to save our species through the study and usage of advanced technology, namely armour enhancements and Artificial Intelligence to run them. This was a noble purpose, and it was the reason why I signed up to partake when I was assigned to the project. Our Director, Doctor Leonard Church - may he rest in peace - was granted an AI based on himself, the Alpha. Our leaderboard system was important as it determined that only the best our agents was going to obtain the AI to run their equipment, because we cared about the protocol and didn't want our most important asset to fall in enemy hands. All was well, until...Someone else came into the picture.
[His expression darkens, mostly for show.]
Agent Texas was different from her teammates. Not only she was an Artificial Intelligence, she was a byproduct of the Alpha. She split off him. We did not even know such thing was possible, at the time. She was based on the memory of Allison Church, the Director's deceased wife, a ghost come back to haunt him. The Director was struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation ever since he lost her many years before and had to raise their daughter alone, and seeing her again caused a quick decline of his already poor mental state. At first, I wasn't able to notice it: he said that that event made him understand that it was possible to create fragments, and that he wanted to study further so that we could have more to win the war. We spent many days trying to figure out what was the key factor, and one day I found out. The key factor was trauma, and...
[It's not in character for him to cry, so he can't do it, but he can have his voice break just a little bit and then clear his throat to make it look like he's forcing himself to regain composure after a moment of emotion.]
I told him. I told him that perhaps we could obtain another one by inducing Dissociative Identity Disorder. It was a hypothesis, and I wasn't even sure it was going to succeed. It was just a hypothesis, by then, and I couldn't possibly know that we would have gotten to this point, but...I remember to this day the way his eyes lit up. He was almost excited to try it, and ordered that I went through with it.
[He swallows audibly, pretending to fidget nervously]
I pointed out the ethical issues, but he insisted, because it would have been a very important discovery. A characteristic of AI that the world, that the galaxy at large needed to know. He said he just wanted to know if it was possible, and so I gave in and complied. We worked closely during the process, and he seemed fine, explained me very eagerly all the ways I could hurt or trigger the Alpha, and our experiment succeeded.
...I know, [he raises his hands defensively] I shouldn't have. I deeply regret it, but I thought it was going to be an isolated incident. I had hoped it was, as I felt...[What's that word that whiny empaths love, anyway?] Dirty, afterwards. Upon his request to repeat the experiment, I voiced my objections, but he overruled me and even if I didn't partake personally he ran simulations to break the Alpha by himself, in hopes to figure out a way to win the war and to turn the Beta AI into an exact copy of his wife to be with her again. I was threatened with violence, and I was afraid to leave the project because the situation had already spiraled as he sent our agents on missions to steal more material to use in the process, and I was going to be deemed responsible for it as well due to my position. Certainly it was not safe for me to report anything to the authorities...
[A little self-defeating scoff, to spice things up. It's like he's painting a masterpiece.]
Of course, I am aware that this doesn't erase the damage done and I am so sorry that my Agents are traumatized and upset over this. Agent Connecticut had sensed that the project's priorities have shifted and was the first to betray us, not without reason, as a way to put a stop to those atrocities. The Director's mental state got even worse, and he started becoming more and more violent towards me. I understood that he was under severe stress as he was afraid that being exposed would erase all the progress made so far, and he kept making fragments. As I said earlier, the Alpha AI was based on the Director, and hurting the Alpha was a form of self harm for him. Not to mention that he either dedicated his time to self harming or to trying to recreate his dead wife.
You cannot imagine how hard it was to watch a man that I admired slowly destroy himself and to be unable to help, despite wanting to - I was forced to make his health worse despite wanting to help him. The whole project at large with all its members was the closest thing to a family that I got to experience, and I wanted to be there for them, but I was forced to harm them, until the AI fragments Sigma and Epsilon broke the minds of their assigned agents and everyone started killing each other. At that point I was forced to push everyone even harder. All of them, the Director, the agents, the AI...Our original goals were so cemented when we started that we searched for soldiers with a difficult past and made our offer so that they could have a second chance, I would have never imagined it to end up like this.
[He makes a little sob 'escape'.]
As a counselor who was supposed to help people, this is my biggest failure and my deepest shame. I did serve my time in prison, after being arrested by the UNSC, but I understand that I will never pay enough for it, especially since some time after our separation the Director lost his battle against depression and took his life. I was alone against everyone and everything, and I...I didn't have the strength, but I should have been stronger and capable of putting a stop to this tragedy by myself. I understand if you don't want to forgive me. I just would like you to know that I am deeply sorry.
Thank you for listening.
Re: video
[He remembers how he and Kid Quantum had to gently gain his trust, so that he actually felt he could rely on anyone in a position of authority, and how much actually being trustworthy had affected him.]
[In short, he already understands that those in charge of the project were monsters that damaged everyone they touched.]
I think that "I was only following orders" is the rallying cry of the morally bankrupt and the weak-willed.
You tortured a sentient being and now try to curry sympathy for how much you and this Director suffered despite the fact your influence ruined lives and damaged everyone it touched.
Rather than being complicit, you could have reported these evil acts to the authorities, leaked the details of these injustices to the press and/or public, or attempted to relocate and save the AI yourself.
Your actions were monstrous, this spurious apology is an insult, and quite frankly you've just revealed that you're a danger to everyone on this rig, giving myself and others I know cause to dog your every step to ensure you don't wreak similar havoc on the individuals here.
That is my properly contemplated response.
Re: video
[ A newbie appears! A man with dark spiked hair and a scar cutting through one eye down the side of his face, looking more serious than he usually does because it's almost offensive that Price tried this shit again. And in this very public way, like he's trying to head off the truth about him being spread. ]
All that, and he's not actually sorry for it. He's just a manipulator trying to get people on his side.
I hope nobody's buying that "apology."
locked to York
[Brainy gives him a small smile.]
I am Brainiac 5, by the way.
I hesitate to tell you this because it's an odd situation, but I know who you are, Agent York.
My universe faced a cataclysmic threat that almost destroyed the multiverse, one that caused a breach in reality that allowed a powerful being to bring in individuals from other universes to stop it. A version of you from a dimension most likely alternate to yours - given that you didn't recognize me - helped my team end the threat. I came to know different versions of you and several other Freelancers, as well as a few Sim Troopers.
Which means I know the precise level of nass Price is flinging our way.
It's good to meet this version of you, though I certainly wish it were under better circumstances.
locked to Brainy
That's weird to think about, but probably not that much stranger than everyone I know being from different points in time.
It's nice to meet you, too. Can I ask who else you knew?
Re: locked to Brainy
The others, Kid Quantum, our team leader, tended to handle. They sometimes had...disagreements with each other that needed mediation. There were several Freelancers: Two Dakotas. Someone named CT. A Carolina. Also another sim trooper named Tucker.
They were very competent but consistently dramatic.
Re: locked to Brainy
...were they getting along by the end?
[ Maybe if so there's hope for this motley crew of disasters. ]
no subject
I'm not sure how it all worked out interpersonally, but everyone managed to work well together.
no subject
no subject
In the meantime, how is Delta?
He and the York I knew enjoyed testing the limits of my digital security, especially around the beginning, before the acting Legionnaires had earned the trust of the displacees that were pulled into our world.
[He grins.]
Which was tremendously amusing when, instead of finding data that incriminated us in unknown wrongs, all they discovered in the end were my personal logs and some planned experiments.
[Yes, he'd enjoyed watching them struggle with some super intense encryptions when all that was on the other side were his diary and to-do lists. Hilarious.]
Is your version of Delta with you?
no subject
I wish he was, but someone else here has him and won't give him back. Turns out back in my world she stole him from the Recovery Agent sent out after I died.
[ There's a hint of anger there as well that he can't quite hide. ]
no subject
Does he prefer to be in this individual's company? Or would he prefer to be in symbiosis with you?
no subject
no subject
But I'm - the human expression is preaching to the choir, I believe.
Have you considered simply stealing the device back?
no subject
I'm a little worried if I stole him, it'd start a war back and forth. I can take her when I'm awake but we don't have doors. And I'm not actually a violent guy.
My tactic right now is to annoy her into giving him back.
no subject
If you need help constantly irritating her, let me know. I'd be happy to help annoy her for the cause.
I have a vested interest in the well-being of AIs. In my universe, I unintentionally created a whole species of them.
[Who knows how one "accidentally" does that.]
no subject
[ Since she wasn't one that Brainy listed as having been friends with himself. ]
You did, huh? Do they have corporeal forms or are they like ours?
no subject
[He has experience low-key annoying the shit out of people. Until becoming a better person, he annoyed his team for years without being kicked off. That was partly because he was too useful to kick out, but he also knows everyone has their breaking points.]
And the Roboticans are capable of both. They're able to exist as pure programming, but capable of traversing systems so they aren't even locked into a specific storage unit. They often choose to stay rooted to Robotica's main cloud storage but are capable of traversing other computer systems and controlling various interchangeable mech-forms to enjoy a tangible existence.
no subject
[ He listens to the explanation of Roboticians with genuine curiosity. ]
Huh. Sounds really advanced. Do they destabilize with age or are they effectively immortal?
Re: video
You could ask any agent and they would all tell you that the Director did not always act the same way, that there was a decline in his psyche and methods ever since Agent Texas showed up.
My actions were...Monstrous, yes. I am not denying it. I am just describing them and the circumstances that led to them...And yes, perhaps I was 'weak-willed'. I was not strong enough, and it wasn't easy to relocate, much less to take the AI with me.
[He raises a hand as a blocking gesture before there can be a response, or interruption, or anything really]
I know, I should have sacrificed myself and risked death to stop those crimes. I did not, and it was a mistake...But even despite what I should have done instead, I fail to understand why is it so hard to believe that a defenseless civilian would have been scared in such situation.
Re: video
And I started my tenure with my current super-team initially armed with nothing besides my intellect, unwillingly drafted as a 14-year-old. You still could've leaked the information. You could've done any number of things to try to right such a wrong.
Don't mistake your cowardice for helplessness and certainly don't expect to find sympathy for your inaction here. I was facing down greater evils than you or those you cowered from at an age you would consider a child.
Re: video
Very well, then. I will refrain from voicing any concern in your presence since they are not serious enough for you - for anyone to listen. Thank you for proving your point.
[He logs off.]
no subject
[In any case, as the connection blips off, Brainy decides this is one to watch.]
no subject
People - including whatever Brainy is - can be really ungrateful, though.]