Jorgmund Emergency Announcement

[piper90npcs]

[In the middle of the night, when even the night watch shifts should be pacing through the dorm area, there’s a peal of noise from the communicators impossible to ignore or sleep through. It’s clearly an alarm of some sort, like tornado alerts back on Earth. It goes on for solid three minutes, long enough for everyone to move on from being woken by it to loathing it, before a message shows up on the communicators-

-and the doorways out of each of the dorms are sealed with a semi-translucent forcefield.

On the communicator screen, Richard Washburn shows up and straightens his tie.]

Hello, employees. Believe me, I’m not any happier about this midnight interruption than you are, but we’re currently in a state of – mild – emergency. I don’t want anyone to get overly excited, but until the situation is resolved, you will remain in your dorms. Depending on how long this takes, all activities scheduled for tomorrow morning have been suspended.

The reason for this is that we have an intruder in your living quarters. We have this footage from a few weeks ago.

[A new image shows up on the communicator: a security camera video of a Santa Claus with a line of the highest executive-level parents and their small children waiting to tell him their wishlist. A little girl in pigtails and a sparkly t-shirt of a Christmas tree hops up onto his lap.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa says, and he boops her nose. “Aren’t you a peach? Tell me, little one. What would you like for Christmas?”

“I want a big plastic spider!” the girl says excitedly.

“A creepy little child, aren’t you? Well, that’s just swell, because that’s my favorite flavor,” Santa says, and then – blurry on the security camera footage – transforms into a mass of black goo, latching onto the little girl’s face and suctioning to stay on. The child’s mother screams and yanks her daughter away, and the footage shows pure pandemonium as some parents lunge forward to help the mother with her daughter while other parents snatch their own children and start running. In all the chaos, the black goo vanishes.

Washburn flicks the footage away and reappears on the screen.]

Thankfully, there were no fatalities in this incident, and after we couldn’t find any evidence of the attacker, we assumed that it was a freak incident of the Stuff. However, there was recently another unsuccessful attack on a teenager by this same creature posing as one of the tutors on the Rig, and then again on another thankfully unharmed child disguised as another child, and then on another child under the guise of a children’s television show host named “Mr. Rogers”, and tonight-

[He takes a deep breath, annoyed, as if this is somehow the Hires’ faults.]

-tonight we found a security breach to your floor, and we have good reason to believe that the shapeshifter is posing as one of you.

We know this: we know it poses as figures appealing to children, so for obvious reasons, you won’t be allowed anywhere near any Jorgmund staff whatsoever until this is resolved. We know that its ability to disguise itself is relatively seamless. And we know that it preys on minors.

If you can determine who among you isn’t at all appealing to children, we can consider releasing you from your dorm and discussing next steps to search out whoever’s been replaced.

If this starts taking long enough that it jeopardizes the Jorgmund’s mission, we may start taking more drastic measures to ensure that we aren’t harboring any imposters.

I’ll keep you updated if you keep me updated.

Comments

[parannoyed]

Especially when some of our solutions might be as simple as alibis.

[runes_brand]

We do, but it only lets the two of us confirm the other's identity.

[Companion bond: the metaphysical duct tape that binds two people together for their entire unnatural lives.]

Doesn't work on other people, and I don't [BEEP]ing think they'd want it to either.

[voice message locked to Dan and Sam]

[bringinghopewithme]

I had a niece named Peony. Sam, you know a secret already that only Gaia and Terra and I knew before you learned it. I was in the garden for lockdown. I'm not going to bother trying to prove it to anyone else while they're busy. If you see anything acting as me, ask it to sing another line of "Lightbringer." I'll sing you one now. "Hellebore dark of stellar deep-"

[It sounds like a hymn, but not one that either of them would have heard in any church, and the simple melody is hard to mistake for any other.]

Anyway, I'd just distract the others, so best case scenario you won't see me at all.

[googledox]

One of the only functioning security cameras, actually being useful for us.

Novel.

Hmm. You might still be the culprit, throwing us off the scent by providing something useful, but considering you likely have no alibi during that period it'd be unlikely that you'd implicate yourself.

On the other hand, I do have an alibi.

I can vouch for the intel without revealing the source of the information. They're more likely to take my word than yours. You're right that the secrecy of it may prove useful.

[bringinghopewithme]

[No reply but Bunny hears this and snorts, from very much at large.]

[hallelujahjunction]

Then - and I'm real sorry about this, Brand, I honestly am - until Rune logs on to confirm we can't take that as conclusive.

locked to new hires, including Kokichi. For once

[googledox]

Kokichi has provided me his source and it is actually verifiable.

Since everyone has absolutely no reason to believe him, it seemed prudent to validate the information.

For the record, I do have an alibi for that period.

[A pause. There is a slight blush of darker green on his cheeks.]

Robbie does as well.

[hot_dad]

[Here is Rune appearing over Brand's shoulder, hair still sleep-mussed but expression alert. Even he couldn't sleep through this shit.]

I can confirm it. It's a magic thing, so the details probably aren't helpful to anyone else, but either of us would know immediately if the other was a fake.

[credit_not_blame]

Who was apparently friends with Mr. Rogers...

[hallelujahjunction]

[Dan gets this message, but while he can listen to his communicator by putting it against his ear, he can't respond without the possibility of Julio hearing him. But he trusts Bunny would be able to grill him the same way. He's sure as hell seen enough.

If only it were easy to know which memories this evil creature got and which ones it didn't.]

[hallelujahjunction]

Alright. Corroborating information is enough for me.

a mistake, clearly

[trialbyliar]

Ooh, how scandalous. And it's a rock-solid alibi, huh? You were together, both awake and active, that whole time?

[Sorry Brainy, you don't deserve this when you're actually trusting him for once.]

[runes_brand]

[Brand snorts.]

[BEEP], I wish everyone would be more suspicious of other people at all times. I'd have fewer headaches.

[He almost wishes this thing had come after him. Rune would have immediately lit it on fire and they could all still be asleep now.]

[trialbyliar]

[He won't argue with a bit of help. He's about to ask for the alibi, even, but then he sees Brainy starting a new thread and dropping the deets over there.

So all Brainy gets is obnoxious giggling before Kokichi goes to respond over there where everyone can see. Y'know, to make sure everyone knows how strong an alibi it is. That's all.]

Re: a mistake, clearly

[googledox]

We were cuddling, get your mind out of the septic receptacle.

[trialbyliar]

Cuddling? How indecent!

[He's laughing. At least someone can find something to laugh about in all this.]

[zerg_rush]

[Kerrigan isn't lying about spec ops being the reason her life sucks, but it's definitely a misleading statement. Nobody wants to have a casual public chat about child soldiering, though.]

Sure. No power armor, though.

[She's joking, but also not, because South did float the idea.]

Video

[garmr]

Not sure if I’m much use here unless that thing’s got a physical neck to snap.

[Guts does not, in fact, consider himself child friendly]

[fuckingaqua]

Y'know what, wandering around in the middle of the night to try and kick shapeshifter ass wasn't at the top of my bucket list anyway, but I draw the line at believing I appeal to kids.

[ Salty, but just kind of for the sake of being salty because the action figure is real: a Tucker story. ]

Jesus. You have one alien baby and that's it, huh? The door to the dad zone just blasts open.

video;

[fuckingaqua]

Considering how all this creepy murderer shit keeps breezing through the setup, I'm just gonna assume "security breach" means "got through the revolving door and picked up its complimentary Rig map".

Anyway, hit me up when you get to the Ts on the New Hires release list. If any execs wanna bust my cool sword out of storage in the meantime, it literally only works for me, so. That's easier than handing over my social and proof of address, in my right opinion.

[onequartershark]

It also can't rule out those of us that don't have superpowers.

[ Oh, the resignation. ]

audio, locked to wash

[onequartershark]

[ She's going to take a chance where she can. They don't know for sure if this is enough, but it's worth a try. ]

Wash. You might not be able to vet my old memories, but I think I can still vet yours.

Tell me about Loki.

[ No context. Pass or fail, Washington. ]

[passifloraincarnata]

[There's a flicker of guilty doubt that crosses her face, just for a moment, then it passes, determination overcoming it. Determination and an odd certainty.]

You aren't, either, are you? So that makes us partners in crime, doesn't it? For now.

... anyway, if it can pretend to be other people, especially if it can convince the people it meets that it's who it wants them to think it is, our best bet is finding the person it's pretending to be before it catches another victim.

And since it can't vanish the body to anywhere like the other side of a mirror, that means the person it attacked is still here, on the Rig, somewhere. Outside the dorms.

[She hesitates, gritting her teeth, before shaking her head slightly.]

... probably. I hope. Anyway, I can cover more ground out here than most others, more quickly. I'll be more use to everyone doing this than trying to guess whether any of us that I've been ... too ... preoccupied to have met, yet, are who they say they are.

[A pause. Then she turns the magical girl sincerity up as high as she can - which is pretty high, since she means every bit of her appeal.]

So, Kokichi, would you be willing to lend me the aid of those screens of yours, wherever you are, and tell me where to start? We'll save so many people's lives if we just work together.

[myagents]

[Well, that was unexpected. Part of Price wants to act as if he himself belongs among the child friendly ones so that he can rot in his room without preoccupying himself with dealing with others' nonsense. On the other hand he knows he would just go insane so he might as well go on this mission and try something, he could either contribute to save the day and earn some respect or once again not have to deal with others' nonsense once he's dead.
That, and if he went 'home' he'd be in a prison ship floating in the middle of nowhere with the scum of the galaxy - oh, and also with his fellow inmates (Felix is worse than many of them - not worse than him, but still), so it's a win-win.]

I can guarantee that my agents have been dealing with each other and taking care of their personal business [which is not personal anymore because he shared it in his apology, whoops, but that was just the surface and there's way more to it]. They are capable of putting their differences aside and work as a very efficient team, which is going to be a crucial factor in this mission. It would be a mistake not to let them help in this situation, regardless of their appeal to children.

[He's aware that this might make him sound like a coward who wants to send people to die in his place, so he specifies.]

In the meantime, I would like to join the searches.

[He doesn't really have to specify why he's not appealing to children.]

[ragefeathers]

Trust me, it's not posing as Stacia. I'd know.

[ That may or may not be bullshit. ]

Also I'm like, fucking twenty-two. I'm not a teenager.