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[wheyoftheadept]

[Saturday looks like hell.  She's showered, at least - her hair is wet and there's a towel around her neck, but her visible skin is covered in scrapes and bandages, and there are bags under her eyes.]

Hi, guys.  Just got back from - well, I'm gonna be real honest here and tell you my own memories are a little fucked. Jorg pulled me right outta medical to run escort on some civvie caravan.  We ran into a Stuff storm.  They tell me it's been like two months?

 [She runs a hand through her hair, wearily.] 

What have I missed?

Comments

[wheyoftheadept]

[As he expected, she laughs, the corner of her mouth curling in a grin.]

Coulda been worse. Coulda been flayed.

[That's the voice of personal experience]

Data doin' all right? Haven't seen him since our team bonding exercise.

[hallelujahjunction]

It was only a little impalement, perfect easy to shake off.

He is. Spent some time with him over Christmas [under the mistletoe, he doesn't say] and he seemed right as rain.

[wheyoftheadept]

Grievous bodily harm is a pretty samey experience, honestly. You take one kind, you've took 'em all.

[She shrugs elaborately]

Can't believe I missed Christmas. And presents! Prehensile toad monster tongues just aren't the same.

[hallelujahjunction]

Toad monsters, huh? I've dealt with a lot of monsters, but never toad monsters.

For the record, there weren't many presents around here. Too many things you're not allowed to have.

[wheyoftheadept]

Imagine a body about the size and shape of a refrigerator. Give it arms as long as its legs, all four ending in big pointy claws, an' a faceful of teeth with a ten foot tongue. The tongues were slimy, and I did not have access to a shower.

[She leans forward. It is very urgent that he understand her suffering.]

For a week. I was covered in toad slime and sand for an entire week. I am never, ever taking running water for granted again.

[hallelujahjunction]

[And Dan, for the record, as someone who has often been 1) covered in gross stuff or 2) desperately wanting for a shower with none on the immediate horizon and 3) occasionally both at the same time, as one ends up while hunting things that rip people apart or drip ectoplasm, nods in very understanding sympathy. Then grins.]

That don't sound near as cute as actual toads.

[wheyoftheadept]

I've never seen a toad except in pictures, but I believe you. I don't know where the Stuff got them from, but I hope I never go there.

At least, I think it was Stuff summoning them. If they're native to this place, it was cursed even before the bombs.

[hallelujahjunction]

Well, supposedly everything in the Stuff comes from our own subconsciouses. So maybe we all got toad monsters in the back of our mind somewhere.

[wheyoftheadept]

[she grins, with mischief]

You spend a lotta time thinking about toads, Sagittarius?

[hallelujahjunction]

Don't know what else there is to think about. [Sometimes Dan plays up the "aw shucks" yokel air.]

[wheyoftheadept]

Are toads the ones you can eat? I'm trynna make a joke come together here but I think it's factually inaccurate.

[hallelujahjunction]

There are folks that eat frogs, but I ain't heard of eating toads.

Now, licking toads, on the other hand.

[wheyoftheadept]

Wait, really? Isn't there a dish called toad-in-the-hole? Like from olden times. I saw it on a trid.

Why would you lick a toad? [she makes a grossed-out face, remembering the creatures she fought] I sure as hell wouldnta licked the monsters.

[hallelujahjunction]

That's just eggs and bread. Cute name for it, though.

Some toads secrete drugs out of their backs. One of nature's bonus features. [Dan's licked at least a few toads.]

[wheyoftheadept]

...you know what, if I'da known that, I might've tried it. Couldn't've made things worse, an' at least I wouldn't have to be sober for it.

[hallelujahjunction]

Attagirl. Anything worth doing is worth doing buzzed.

[wheyoftheadept]

I've been out of cigarettes since my first week here, toad almost sounds good. [Saddest elf face] Not how I wanted to quit.

[private to Saturday]

[hallelujahjunction]

You complained about that to the right person. [Dan pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and holds them up for her.] I got my sources for nicotine around these parts.

Re: [private to Saturday]

[wheyoftheadept]

[Saturday presses her hands together above her head in exaggerated gratitude]

You are a blessing from on high. What do I owe you?

[private]

[hallelujahjunction]

Nothing. Consider it a nicotine addict's gesture of solidarity.

Re: [private]

[wheyoftheadept]

[The grin that splits her face is the most honest one from her yet.]

Thanks, chummer.

[private]

[hallelujahjunction]

[Dan makes a little finger-gun motion at Saturday and winks.]