[locked to new hires] post-babadon't

[princesspower]

[ Adora fidgets with her communicator, staring at the screen, her brow furrowed as the video feed starts up. She's in a bed in the infirmary, with some bandaging on her head where she's was previously bleeding from the scalp. She looks tired, mostly. ]

Hey everybody. I just - I guess I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let myself get taken out like that. Everyone had to deal with that because of me. I screwed up. I won't let it happen again. Uh - I guess that's about it.

Comments

[heterochrocatic]

YES! Yes you are!

[ Catra is almost shouting, cutting off Adora before she can keep justifying herself. ]

That's what you've always done! For Shadow Weaver, for me, for the Princesses, for everyone! You're worth more than you can give to others, Adora! I'm not--

[ She grits her teeth. ]

I want to stay. I don't want to watch you keep trying to kill yourself until it works, though!

[princesspower]

The fact is I should've been better.

[princesspower]

Adora really doesn't want to hear that she has "too much" going on in her head right now and her expression tightens up a little. A tiny, tiny vindictive part of her just wants to leave. She stays, though, hands on her hips. She's had people yelling at her today and she doesn't want to think that hard about it.

"...not really. And there's always the lights. Sort of comes with the package."

[princesspower]

That isn't what I said.

[hallelujahjunction]

Not so far as we know. We saw them in the mess hall together last night, and it don't make sense for the monster to kill and replace five folks with similar clearances to go back to the same room in the hour before it found you.

I mean, not to make promises I can't cash, but we'll see them tomorrow morning for our powdered eggs and dishwater coffee.

[71lines]

Then be better and don't worry about being sorry. You can't change the fact that you weren't good enough then and no one blames you for it.

[Dammit, when she said "be selfish", she didn't mean in this way!]


Besides, you were only down for, what, two hours, plus the time we were in lockdown?

[princesspower]

I really don't need another lecture.

[ Kind of. ]

[princesspower]

Didn't you guys find... body parts?

[ That's what she thought, but maybe she's just kind of out of it. ]

[princesspower]

I'm not trying to kill myself, Catra!

[ Maybe. ]

I'm just - I'm doing what I have to do. You know that.

[princesspower]

Felt like a lot longer.

[ Ugh. ]

[71lines]

At least you got a nap in.

[princesspower]

It wasn't a nap.

[hallelujahjunction]

Teeth and hair, but they also exploded into teeth and hair [and so much goo] when they died. From what Sam's speculated, it's high likely it was peeling its disguise off.

[credit_not_blame]

Then why is everybody else "wrong"?

[Finger quotes, everybody loves finger quotes.]

[heterochrocatic]

Stop pretending you're doing this for anyone but yourself. It's about your guilt. It's about your need to carry everything on your shoulders because you don't trust anyone else to do it or think that no one else can.

[ Catra scowls. ]

It's just using other people as an excuse to be cruel to yourself.

[71lines]

No, I guess you'd be feeling more refreshed if it was.

Laugh. It's over.

[princesspower]

I... guess that's a relief.

[princesspower]

Because I have a responsibility to help and protect people?

[wheyoftheadept]

"Huh. Okay. Well, let's table that for a second - I think it'd be worthwhile to see if you could draw on that without the whole routine, but you're the expert on that. Let's start at the beginning, then."

She holds out the strip of cloth and falls into a practiced tone, having heard and delivered this speech a hundred times. "Blindfold yourself. I'm gonna go stand somewhere within arm's reach of you, quietlike so you don't know where. Take your time, clear your mind, and feel out where I am. It's not impossible. Living things give off a lot of signs. Breath, body heat, scent, constant little shifts of muscle and position. Give it a try. Don't worry about doing it fast, worry about getting it right. Fast comes later."

[princesspower]

[ Adora flinches.

She doesn't want to hear that. She doesn't think it's true. It still cuts. ]

That's not true!

[ She's very good at lying to herself about that. ]

[princesspower]

I don't really feel like laughing.

[hallelujahjunction]

Never a bad day when fewer people die.

If it's still eating you next time something eventful happens here, just use that as motivation.

[71lines]

Then don't. But do something to relax, don't beat yourself up, and don't stay in 'fight' mode or you'll lash out at someone who doesn't deserve it.

You count in that.

Video

[alderaani]

[ The woman is calm, cool and collected, somehow bizarrely seeming regal even for injuries and the insanity of recent events, not to mention her wardrobe. ]

Adora, would it be alright if I came to speak with you in person?

[heterochrocatic]

It is true and you need to face up to it so you can get better.