piper90 | [Don't Touch That Dial] [network] [locked on principle]

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[Don't Touch That Dial] [network] [locked on principle]

[nb: if you are not trapped in the hell town, you can't see this, per mods]

[Saturday's image, when you open the video feed, is faintly green-tinted. This lends a yellowy look to the bright-red stripes on her short-sleeved shirt. She's also wearing jeans overalls, with shorts that end above the knee. It looks like a ten year old's outfit - because it is]

Hi. Hello? Is anyone else out there? I'm with three of us - besides me there's Loken, Kerrigan, and, uh, Guts.

[The camera pans over to the meanst sonuvabitch-looking three-legged junkyard dog you ever saw. Its eyes are unnervingly human.]

Guts is. Not quite himself at the moment. He's still in there, just - did anything like this happen to anyone else? If there is anyone else? Something more then this place dressin' us up funny an' trynna make us read off a script.

And does anyone remember how we got here?

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Okay. Can you find a crust and a filling? Anything'll do. Preheat your oven to 350 and let me know what you find.

[Saturday has already been screamed at. She's not about to let that happen to anyone else]

It's really important to do what they think you should do, as long as they can see you.

[ The video jostles around as Wrath turns on the oven. She initially turns the dial to 500, mutters to herself, then on the second try gets it to 350. ]

What does filling look like?

[ She opens the cabinets for the video feed. There are a lot of canned goods in there. Hidden in the back, there's a can of cherry pie filling, though she doesn't seem to notice it. ]

And what's a crust look like?

The can in the back, on the left. Says cherries on it. Round red fruit with a green stem, yeah, that one. Pie crust is gonna have what it is written on the package, it's basically a kind of shallow dish made of pastry, you put the filling in - there! Second shelf, right hand side.

[Saturday squints, trying to read the label on the filling.]

Can you look at the filling ingredients and tell me how much sugar? Or hold it up to the camera if you don't read English.

Okay, got them both. [ She's grateful for the description of the can, since she has difficulty with reading, particularly when she's nervous. And even more grateful when Saturday offers to read it. She holds it up to the video feed so that the small letters are hopefully clear enough. ] Thank you.

[Saturday skims the label, muttering to herself. Enough sugar in the mix, good.]

No problem. We're in this together and all that. So, get those on the counter and then open up the cabinets. We're looking for a round, shallow dish, preferably glass but it doesn't really matter. About 8-10 inches across? The pastry should fit in easily. After that, fill it with the cherries, smoothed out even and up to the brim. There should be a flat sheet of pastry in the kit, too. Cover it with that, sprinkle some sugar an' I can tell you how to do an egg wash if you wanna be fancy. Pop that in and bake about an hour, til the crust is golden brown. Might not be perfect but this place doesn't seem to care.

Understood. [ This makes it sound pretty easy. She locates a dish that fits the specs in a different cabinet and puts the pastry in it, in a way that she hopes is right. She puts the cherries in and then sets the sheet of pastry on top. It looks... mostly pie-like. ]

Is that right? What's an egg wash and how do I do it?

[It is easy, and also not at all how Saturday would bake a pie for fun. For starters, she'd hand-make the filling and dough. But it is the simplest way to make a pie happen and satisfy whatever scenario her fellow-sufferer's stuck in.]

Egg wash? Crack one egg and a tablespoon of water into a small bowl, whisk til mixed. Use a large flat brush, oughta be one in one of the drawers an' paint it evenly on the crust. Helps keep it moist.

[A beat]

You could also take a knife an' cut some pretty patterns in the top.

Edited 2021-03-21 00:58 (UTC)

Understood. [ Eggs, she can do. Tablespoon of water, okay. She stirs it up with a whisk, finds a brush that looks like a paintbrush and figures that should work and paints it on.

Pretty patterns, though, she can actually do. She grabs a small knife from the block and proceeds to cut into the crust. After a few halting motions as she figures out how the material works, she produces something surprisingly beautiful and floral, definitely not at all like her fumbling attempts to actually assemble the pie up until this point. ]

...is that okay?

[Saturday is impressed. She nods, approving.]

Yeah, that'll do. Just stick in til it's done. Should be edible, if it ain't gourmet.

Understood. [ She puts the pie in the oven like someone who has literally never put anything in an oven. ]

When will I know it's done?

Give it 45 minutes an' then start checking about every five. When it's golden brown all around, top and bottom, it's done. An' use those big thick mittens to handle it 'cause it's gonna be hot.

Oh. Understood. [ Yeah, it would get hot if she put it in the big, hot box. Right. She should have thought of that. ] Thank you! You're a life saver.

No problem. Baking ain't something I expected to come in handy in the field, but what the ... heck. [That was the place's censorship, tainting even the small victories] Let me know if you need more help.

Edited 2021-03-22 04:14 (UTC)

It's definitely not something that was in my training.

Hopefully this will be good enough. But thank you. Really, thank you.

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[Don't Touch That Dial] [network] [locked on principle]

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