audio;

[fuckingaqua]

Hey, so if everyone's done celebrating love or diversity or whatever, I've got personal agendas that are actually important and cool that don't have anything to do with Human Resources.

[ It hasn't even been a week but ok dumbass. ]

The important one is, I need someone to use magic or science or whatever to everything-proof a photograph for me, ASAP. They won't let me use a fancy copier to make a backup, so I need that handled before the next time I have to do some bullshit mission around acid or fire or dudes who wanna stab me.

The cool one is, I need someone who has a grenade they're willing to flush down a toilet for team bonding cred. You'll probably get messed-up eardrums, but it'll be fucking awesome. I dunno, we can make it like a group thing? 'cause now that I'm thinking about it, I've never had a multi-team operation to flush two grenades down two toilets at the same time.

Comments

[walkingballpit]

Isn’t that just powers training? Or really, just basketball? It’s hard for me to play any sport without a light show.

[fuckingaqua]

You know what? That's about the right balance of "sounds cool and like it could accidentally maim me." I mean, I'm not gonna make any promises about those toilets. Which was totally a joke, if you're a company cop. What people don't get about me is that I'm fucking hilarious.

[walkingballpit]

Never fear, my dude. I am a thousand percent not a cop of any kind. I’m not even a mall cop.

[ Most of the cops and prison guards Robbie has met don’t like him. ]

I don’t do uniforms you have to iron.

[fuckingaqua]

Whoa, are irons even still a thing?

[ Vital intel. ]

I could've learned to make a grilled cheese with one of those. Who needs a stove?

[walkingballpit]

Here? I don’t know.

Where I’m from from - like where and when I was born, they’re a thing.

But I’ve lived when they weren’t a thing and the grilled cheese was tragic. And vegan.