♫ Introducing on sunshine, whoa-oh-oooh ♫ [LOCKED]

[pastnastification]

[The man that shows up on the screen is an extreme ginger, complete with blue eyes. Given that Jorgmund isn't really the type to give people hair care products, the way his hair spikes up seems to be a natural swoop.]

[He figured out the hover function on his comm (100% by accident) and that means it's a wide view of him, sitting on his bunk and leaning forward with curiosity with his elbows on his knees. The New Hire jumpsuit isn't exactly flattering on him - he's almost aggressively average-looking and slightly paunchy - but he looks comfortable, like he's used to occasionally wearing stupid uniforms.]

[The Planet Express delivery crew has worn stupid uniforms on completely random occasions.]

Three questions.

One, what does the little lock button do that I just pushed before recording this and also why?

[He doesn't clarify what the "why" refers to. Is it "why does this exist?" or "why does it do whatever thing it does"?]

Two, has any seen - or been roundhouse kicked by - a foxy cyclops? Or seen - or been mugged by - a robot?

Three, how long has everyone else been stuck here? I'm really hoping it's a short amount of time because there's someplace I really need to be. Has it been just a couple days, or a bunch of weeks?

[He's hoping they'll all get to bail from this place soon. Those chances will be better if people haven't been stuck here for ages already, because it means he might be, too.]

Four, has anyone been shocked enough that their tongue went numb?

Five, who all is everyone else...is?

And d) Hi, I'm Fry.

[A pause.]

Wait, that was supposed to be question.

[He has obviously lost count, accidentally used a letter, and also gone over three questions and seems clueless to this fact. But he said he had questions and therefore he rephrases the last one as a question, even though most people don't introduce themselves by asking other people if that's their name.]

Hi, I'm...Fry?

[Nailed it. Solid introduction, if he does say so himself.]

Comments

[onequartershark]

Hello Fry. I'm Carolina.

[ Oh. This whole demeanor is so familiar. Carolina knows this. She's still not the best at dealing with it, but she's more patient these days and has some practice. ]

You didn't know what it does and you pushed it?

[ Just. You know. To confirm the level of this going on here. ]

[fuckcable]

[ Ric is actually going to give him the benefit of the doubt here, intellectually speaking. Question four is worrying. ]

Shocks are part of the official welcome party, but I don’t think anybody’s tongue’s gone numb on the first day. They don’t want to scramble our brains - what did you say to them?

[ It’s not like Ric himself was agreeable or cooperative, and he’d been shocked badly enough that he was still feeling it when he was deposited on Dan and Sam’s doorstep. ]

[fuckingaqua]

[ Oh, worm? That's like a brand of personality Tucker already knows how to work with. Right on his level. ]

Dude, don't make your name a question. They fuck up the nametags bad enough around here already.

... and how foxy is this foxy cyclops? If she roundhouse kicked me would it be worth whatever I said to get roundhouse kicked?

[pastnastification]

It was a button.

[A big shrug.]

I wanted to see what it did.

[That's...that's a level, alright.]

[pastnastification]

It didn't seem to be specific things I said, they just seemed to have trouble with most of my talking.

[A pause.]

They really didn't like my questions, especially.

Like I asked if the being strapped to the chair thing was something kinky, because if so I wanted to let them know I was already spoken for.

They really didn't like that one.

[pastnastification]

[He says it immediately.]

Yes.

[There is profuse nodding.]

One time we both had amnesia because I got hit in the head, and she thought I was dead and got a treatment to block off her memories of me because they made her too sad.

We wound up on opposite sides in a really short, stupid war and got in a really acrobatic fight. She punched me in the face a lot before we remembered each other again, and then we made out.

It was one of the best days of my life.

[She's that hot.]

[pastnastification]

But also that's just a hypothetical. If she's here or winds up here, don't say anything because then I'll punch you in the face.

I'd kick like her, but I can't do spinny kicks that high.

[fuckcable]

Most people don’t want to know about your kinks when they’re trying to ask you an unrelated question.

[ Case in point, Fry. ]

Were you asking them about the hot cyclops and telling them she would kick them in the head?

[pastnastification]

I was worried that being strapped into a chair and electrocuted was their thing.

[In which case, he very much wanted to establish that he didn't want to be a part of their kink scene.]

[He looks thoughtful.]

I didn't talk about her much while I was still getting shocked because I didn't want them to pay attention to her and electrocute her if they didn't like my answers.

[Apparently caution isn't a totally alien concept for him.]

I've done things to get her in trouble before so I didn't want to do that just by mentioning her and giving them the wrong answers. But now that I'm out, I haven't seen her here so far.

[myagents]

[The excitement in Price's brain activates again as he spots fresh meat. He knows he can't do anything with it, or at least not much, but it's a natural reaction. Oh to be in Project Freelancer and inflict deliberate medical malpractice on a rookie again...]

Greetings, Mr Fry. We have not been taken on the Rig all at once. Some of us joined recently, many others have been here for several months up to a year. We were not given any indications on the duration of our stay, and were mostly taken from different timelines and universes so we do not necessarily know each other.
You might want to request medical attention for your tongue.
Welcome on the Rig.

[pastnastification]

[Okay, time for a freak out. He was thinking days or weeks at the worst. But that's a long ass time.]

[He is suddenly filled with overwhelming anxiety. Things happen all the time back home. He doesn't like the idea of Leela and Bender and his other friends dealing with all the nonsense of their world without him there.]

[Possibly for a year. And what if it's more? It's not that he's particularly useful but sometimes he is, and sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes people find his presence during those bad things reassuring. He doesn't want them to worry or have to face all that without him there at least trying to be supportive.]

Months? A year?

[He clasps his hands so his arms are cradling his head.]

Noooooo!

That means by the time I get back, the discount at the resort will be gone! It was only in place for a few weeks.

[He looks very forlorn.]

My wife and I were going to go to the Horsehead nebula for our honeymoon. To the planet with all the horsehead people. Where you can see the nebula up close from every window. And ride horses on the beach.

[A pause.]

...Which I don't really understand because that'd be like if we rode humans that run on all fours.

But it was still going to be really nice and now we won't be able to afford it when I get back.

[fuckcable]

If they were already strapping you down and shocking you without your consent, they’re not going to stop if it’s not your kink.

[ He would’ve thought that was obvious, given the whole “on boarding process”. Somewhere around discovering you’ve got a shock device implanted in your body. ]

I haven’t seen her, and I’ve been here for months. Dunno if that helps, but at least you don’t have to worry about getting her in trouble.

[pastnastification]

[Fry sighs.]

On the one hand, I guess I'm glad she's not here to get shocked and stuff.

On the other hand, she'd be really good at helping get us out of getting shocked and stuff.

Is there anyone else here who's really good at hurting people?

[wherenoonegoes]

...okay, I need to ask: why are you looking for a robot that mugs people? Also why is a robot mugging people at all?

[Toothless pops his head in from behind Hiccup, giving Fry a slightly confused look to match Hiccup's own. Seriously, that's pretty weird, dude.]

[myagents]

Unfortunately, we are not sure about whether our absence affects the timeline we were extracted from or not. There is, however, a chance that time might have frozen and that once we are back we could continue from where we were interrupted. In absence of a clear answer, I would like you to focus on that eventuality. It will be more beneficial.

[walkingballpit]

Hey, Roboticans ‘mug’ Brainy all the time.

I’ll see myself out.

[fuckcable]

Three things, and I’ll count them for you.

One, do you mean besides Jorgmund? Because:

Dos, you don’t just ask if there’s people who can hurt people in a place like this. Not in public.

C, that button you pushed locked this so only we can see it, so keep your mouth shut about it, or you’ll find out the answer to two.

[pastnastification]

He's my best friend! And he does it for fun and also because he likes money.

[pastnastification]

You used a letter in there.

[Yes, he noticed this time. Of course.]

I just want to know what people I'm supposed to listen to.

[Fry knows he's a follower. He knows that most of the time he can't really walk into a situation, assess it correctly, and pick the right course of action.]

If something's happening, I'm not really good at figuring it out on my own. [He twiddles both hands together.] Or figuring out most things generally.

The times I've done okay against something bad on my own, I winged the hell out of it. Like when I beat the bad guys with bad spelling and reading being fundamental, thanks to my local library. This doesn't seem like a place where that would work.

[pastnastification]

Okay, that's a good thing.

[Because that means Leela won't worry.]

But also a bad thing. If time was passing back home, the professor might have been able to science up a way to find me here and get us all free.

[drladysounds]

Woah, a new guy with an inquisitive streak. Now that's a pleasant thing to see.

[Shelley takes the questions in stride, finding she likes this first impression. Look at this guy, he's not afraid of asking questions even if a couple of them don't paint the most flattering image ever. Now that's bravery]

Hello to Fry! No roundhouse kicks or mugging by robots around here, last I checked. Just a lot of giant butterflies and corporative cruelty, which is all par for the course, I think. The shocks are like a little hazing the employees do, don't worry too much about it -- unless you're still feeling numb, then you should worry.

[wherenoonegoes]

[Hiccup would say something about that, but he's friends with Ruffnut and Tuffnut. He can't really judge.]

Fair enough.

To answer the question nobody's gotten to yet, the lock button keeps anyone who works for Jorgmund from seeing it, so it's actually a good thing you pressed it before you asked what it was.

I'm Hiccup, the dragon is my body Toothless, and the guy making the godsawful puns is Robbie.

[pastnastification]

[Less bravery, more being conscious of his own cluelessness.].

The numbness is mostly gone but everything still tastes purple.

[That's what it feels like.]

What's your name?

[icluciandance]

It's nice to meet you, Fry! My name is Dana.

I'm a very recent arrival myself, so I'll leave the rest of your questions to someone who's been here longer.

[ And maybe take notes on some of the answers herself, tbh. ]

[walkingballpit]

That was a GREAT pun for a very limited audience.

Nice to meet you, Fry Guy.