smallmediumwelldone (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smallmediumwelldone) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
piper902020-10-21 06:04 pm
smallmediumwelldone) wrote in piper902020-10-21 06:04 pm
Entry tags:
[Video]
Good evening.
[There’s a woman speaking, tone clipped. The corporate jumpsuit hangs off her small frame, and her hair is swept up into an old-fashioned bun. Or so it seems - she’s standing a bit away from the screen, and it’s tilted at an odd angle.]
I am given to understand that this is how to contact my new coworkers? My name is Beatrice Brewer, at your service, and I assure you I am quite qualified. I am - was - an apprentice of the fifth circle in, ah, a collection of magi, have experience in a thrilling variety of crises, and am quite keen to get started on - [a heavy sigh, more notable for the fact that someone observant might catch that she doesn’t breathe] - this situation.
[There’s a long pause.]
Drat, is this bloody thing even on? Dreadful place, what sort of dog and pony show are they running, honestly. Stuff? Stuff? Of all the names?
[There’s a woman speaking, tone clipped. The corporate jumpsuit hangs off her small frame, and her hair is swept up into an old-fashioned bun. Or so it seems - she’s standing a bit away from the screen, and it’s tilted at an odd angle.]
I am given to understand that this is how to contact my new coworkers? My name is Beatrice Brewer, at your service, and I assure you I am quite qualified. I am - was - an apprentice of the fifth circle in, ah, a collection of magi, have experience in a thrilling variety of crises, and am quite keen to get started on - [a heavy sigh, more notable for the fact that someone observant might catch that she doesn’t breathe] - this situation.
[There’s a long pause.]
Drat, is this bloody thing even on? Dreadful place, what sort of dog and pony show are they running, honestly. Stuff? Stuff? Of all the names?
i'm dead. i have died and am posting from beyond the grave
How you mange to bone?
[ Duh. That's what they've been talking about.
Right? ]
we did it kids, we're professionals
[i am your SUPERIOR VAMPIRE, detective werewolf. bone. booooone?!?!? She doesn't even spring backwards, she's too torn between rising confusion, outrage, and embarrassment. Wait, what HAD they been talking about?]
We can - if you're truly curious, the blood can, can, ah stimulate - but it's not - I don't - I haven't - why would you even ask that.
[Her sputtering continues. She jabs both hands outwards in what is probably meant to be some sort of gesture but mostly results in indignant flailing.]
Re: we did it kids, we're professionals
You asked if I wanted to play pitcher! What the fuck else was I supposed to think you were asking?
[ Translation: I thought you were coming onto me because I am big dumb idiot who can't contain herself. ]
no subject
[When in doubt, go on the offensive.]
If you wanted to throw! Like throwing! People who throw items, professionally! Such as - as baseball, and the Dodgers! If this is the finest Gaia has to offer, no wonder she is losing.
[Oh geeze, not even being mean is enough to stave off the overwhelming desire to sink into the floor. Beatrice finds herself no longer able to make eye contact with the damned werewolf. She's not able to blush, exactly, but the blood flowing back to where it should be now that she knows there's no fight coming has a remarkably similar effect.]
.........
Let us never talk about this. Ever again.
no subject
[ Mackenzie scowls, anger bubbling again. That remark about Gaia losing hits remarkably close to a big sore spot and she bristles for a moment, wondering if she can get away with just punching the stupid leech. She restrains the urge, though, for the sake of quote unquote being cool. ]
Ugh. Fine.
[ She stares off at a wall, embarrassment still write large on her features. ]
Fucking. Fuck.
no subject
No, I haven't the faintest idea of what that sounds like to - I thought wolves were supposed to be good at sports. It's baseball! There's nothing wrong with baseball!
Youths. You spend too much time on Twitter!
[She's not actually entirely sure what that accusation means, only that obscenity and twitter and the young have become indelibly linked in her mind.]
no subject
[ What is her life? She's explaining this to a vampire. God. Bea is kinda cute with her hair like that though. ]
no subject
[She remains steadfast in refusing to look away from the precious wall, that would never betray her. Looking at the wolf seems a terrible idea, made all the worst by the fact that the woman is still terribly warm and earnest even in her indignation. It would be so much less embarrassing if Beatrice thought Kenzie was just having a go at her. Although she can think of one way to get revenge for being called a relic. Beatrice isn't exactly sure if they have The Google here for Kenzie to look vintage slang, but that's not her problem.]
Back in my day we used civilized terms, like tipping the velvet.
I can't believe you're willing to explain - explain nonsense like that, but not actually anything useful. What good are you?
[She's not sulking!! Shut up!]
Sorry for the wait!
[ Mackenzie groans and turns away for a moment, a hand running through her short hair. She feels humiliated. Embarrassed. It would be one thing if it had just been a 'oh no, I don't like women' but this miscommunication is making her want to shrink into the ground and vanish. She turns back towards Bea, trying to regain her metaphorical footing. ]
Okay tipping the velvet is kinda classy and cute. I might have to remember that one. And what else do you want me to explain, huh, princess?
[ The pet name is instinct, inevitable. Oops. ]
no worries not like i'm not slow as hell anyway
[Even worse for Kenzie's dismay over it not even being an into women thing, if she manages to look up the ye olde phrase, she'll discover that it's specifically a term for cunnilingus. Sorry, Kenzie!
On the bright side for her, she definitely has the metaphorical high ground, because Beatrice still has her arms folded and is stubbornly looking down and away even as she tries to pretend she is super collected and not at all deeply flustered by the situation.] I'm no one's princess. Hrmph, you – probably either have nothing to explain of value anyhow, or you'll say it's too secret. [Ooh, howzabout them sour grapes, Bea. She totally didn't want to know anyway!!!]
N-nevermind. We can just forget this happened. Or – I don't know if you have any questions –
[Frantic conversation attempt change, go!]
Re: no worries not like i'm not slow as hell anyway
[ Kenzie gestures emphatically, as if it serves to make her point sound any less flagrantly homosexual. Someone help her, she's just a disaster. She is probably just about as flustered as Beatrice at this point. All the wind has gone out of her sails and she has no idea how to come back at this conversation. ]
I dunno! Are there any vampires that aren't assholes? Or do I just have the worst luck in leeches? And it's not like I can just give away secrets! You wouldn't tell me about all your secret leech club bullshit if I asked!
no subject
[Wait, what was that last one? Beatrice falters and loses track of her words, the wind taken out of her sails so thoroughly that they may as well be punctured. Here lies her half-attempt at regaining her dignity, cruelly slain by the gay agenda.]
Er.
I don't – that is – [Oh god. At least nerddom can always be her last refuge.] – you may find that I am quite amenable to your questions, in any case. Our Masquerade serves to protect us from the wrath of mortals, but you already know we exist. Obviously. No matter how disappointed you may be with your luck. Personally..? I wouldn't hold out much hope on that front – Kindred are no more and no less than human, and people are a consistently obnoxious bunch.
no subject
[ Mackenzie is going back on the offensive a little, but the devolution into talk about vampires and vampiric society deflects it, mercifully. Because having a talk with a vampire about the fact that you find her really pretty in a pale, ethereal, might-murder-me kind of way would be really weird. Especially when she gets embarrassed as easy as this vampire. ]
Okay tell me about your stupid vampire mafia or tribe or whatever the fuck you guys call it, then.
no subject
[She's just not going to touch on – any of the rest. It was clearly a misunderstanding. Maybe a cultural one. Yes, that seems right, this is clearly all just part of Garou culture. Right, of course. With that assurance in mind, Beatrice manages to make eye contact with Kenzie once more. Or close enough. She may be looking a few inches off to the side.]
We use clans, not tribes. There's a difference – we do not select our clans, and there is a measurable difference in the blood and our resulting traits, which I have been given to understand is unlike your tribes. Nor are we a mafia, goodness. I'll gladly leave such tawdriness to the Giovanni.
[A pause, before she realizes Kenzie has no context for that salt. She explains sourly – not exactly being their biggest fan.]
A family of Italian vampires. Necromancers. Thoroughly obnoxious and besotted with their own deviance.
What was my own clan is known as the Tremere. [She's been thrown to off her game to stop herself from letting that past tense slip in - or notice that it had.] We're the youngest across all the clans – but acknowledged all the same, for no other Kindred have our mastery of sorcery.
no subject
[ She's not ready to leave that hill just yet. She crosses her arms, then reaches up to wipe away a stray bead of sweat from above her eye. She's been not moving for a short while now and it's starting to annoy her. Now she's engaged in this conversation though... ]
Tremere. Little babies who are really good at magic, got it.
no subject
We're far from infants. Even our status at being the newcomers still puts us at one millennium – you're scarcely a zygote. And while I technically can't stop you from calling me what you wish, it would only be fair that I then get to call you whatever I wish as well.
[Beatrice crosses her arms, smug, sure in her victory.]
no subject
[ Whatever the fuck a zygote is. ]
But I can kick a LOT of ass so it doesn't matter. What's your nickname for me then? Make it something sweet~
[ Kenzie is the worst. ]
no subject
That's for me to know and for you to find out.
[What does that even mean? She doesn't know. Beatrice sticks her nose up in the air and does her best to look like a malevolently plotting vampire and not at all like she's panicking.]
no subject
Awww, but princess, if I have a pet name for you, you just have to have one for me!
[ Kenzie is enjoying this way, way too much. ]