[Video]

[smallmediumwelldone]

Good evening.

[There’s a woman speaking, tone clipped. The corporate jumpsuit hangs off her small frame, and her hair is swept up into an old-fashioned bun. Or so it seems - she’s standing a bit away from the screen, and it’s tilted at an odd angle.]

I am given to understand that this is how to contact my new coworkers? My name is Beatrice Brewer, at your service, and I assure you I am quite qualified. I am - was - an apprentice of the fifth circle in, ah, a collection of magi, have experience in a thrilling variety of crises, and am quite keen to get started on - [a heavy sigh, more notable for the fact that someone observant might catch that she doesn’t breathe] - this situation.

[There’s a long pause.]

Drat, is this bloody thing even on? Dreadful place, what sort of dog and pony show are they running, honestly. Stuff? Stuff? Of all the names?

Comments

video;

[ragefeathers]

'Stuff' is like the worst name for that crap.

[ Kenzie has her phone propped up in the training room. She was doing sit-ups but now the fellow newbie has her distracted. There's a loose grin, lopsided and charming. ]

Fifth circle? Magi? You like, a namebreaker or some ████?

Re: video;

[smallmediumwelldone]

It's outrageous. Purely on a professional level, that they have something unprecedented and can't be bothered with-

[Beatrice squints at the screen, cut off from her very indignant naming feelings. It brings her slightly more into focus at least, even if her tone is now reserved. Why Does That Sound Familiar.]

Rather the opposite, we forge connections between Names, there's nothing broken about it. It's not the first I've heard namebreaker though. And you are...?

Re: video;

[ragefeathers]

Mackenzie Haynes. Friends call me Kenzie, though.

[ She speaks with a touch of an Ozark drawl. One hundred percent working class. She gives a little laugh. ]

So you know the term. That's interesting. Now I'm curious about where you picked it up.

[fuckcable]

[ Why do British always make everything sound like money when they pluralize crisis right? ]

As long as it’s not the fifth circle of hell, nobody’s checking your resume.

[smallmediumwelldone]

[She's also a vampire, so she really has no choice but to not be fancy.]

They should! How are we supposed to work together if we don't even know another's capabilities? Kidnapping people willy-nilly is just the worst job interview.

[fuckcable]

[ They will have shockingly little in common. Ric has blood and understands a British accent, but fancy he ain’t. ]

Oh, you missed that part of the welcome committee presentation? I’ll catch you up. They’re going to fry us if we don’t figure out how to work together.

[breq]

I haven't seen any dogs or ponies since my arrival.

[ Is Breq joking? Or being serious? Hard to tell. ]

They're not the most creative people in the universe. That's clear enough if they feel the need to kidnap people from other places.

[smallmediumwelldone]

On the contrary, I would say that attempting to problem solve through kidnapping people from other realms and times is extraordinarily creative as an approach.

[Beatrice scoffs and shifts.]

More's the pity, I'd rather see the solutions that dogs and ponies would come up with.

[breq]

It's certainly a desperate approach. I'll grant them that.

As for the animals - it couldn't hurt to ask their opinion, could it?

[just_rogue]

Ah, guess welcome is in order. Glad ta have someone with some experience in magical things, it's not mah strong suit.

[ She offers a wave of a yellow gloved hand, the only stand out in her wardrobe with the same jumpsuit all of them seemed to have. ]

Name's Rogue an Ah'm more of that physical type, strong and such. But happy ta answer questions or help if Ah can.

[smallmediumwelldone]

Thank you for the welcome, I'll of course do my best to bring any relevant experience to bear. This place is so new that - [Beatrice lets out an exasperated huff] - I scarcely even know where to begin asking.

[She gives Rogue a considering look. She has no way to imagine Rogue's own touch deal, but at the moment she's jealous of the gloves situation.]

Maybe with – where does one get gloves here?

[just_rogue]

Mine are kinda special, a safety precaution really. But they have some other ones that the crew can get if ya ask.

Ah'd be happy ta ask around if anyone else has seen a pair recently. Ah have my old one but one'a Planker's contraptions tore 'em up a bit an Ah ain't much of a seamstress.

[kingofneworleans]

I got a spare pair dat I secreted 'way. Long as you don' min' black, dat is.

[He's actually not wearing his shades at the moment, so Beatrice gets the full effect of those odd eyes of his. Even if he's not looking directly at the camera. Cameras get a bit funny about them, after all.]

text

[wheyoftheadept]

hey, welcome. glad to have another spellslinger, we sure need 'em. my name's Saturday, let me know if you need help settling in.

Re: text

[smallmediumwelldone]

What? How did you change to typing-

[She's frowning thoughtfully at her comm now. There's rustling and her hitting a whole lot of buttons. A minute..or two..later the vid pops off and text is there instead. In all caps.]

IS THERE A REASON YOU PREFER TO NOT SHOW YOUR FACE?

[She has a gradual sinking feeling. The text, the lower case, the grammar...all reminiscent of a horrible, horrible trauma.]

YOU'RE NOT A TWITTER, ARE YOU?

[hallelujahjunction]

[Dan pops up on the video, all smiles and voice that sounds like it's coming out of a dried-out storm drain.]

Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Brewer. And I can't help you regarding how terrible the names are here. All we know is that when you say "Stuff", you gotta emphasize it.

[Dan empathizes deeply with the tech difficulties. He's been smashing his way into many of them himself.]

[smallmediumwelldone]

[It's nice that someone here has manners, even if his voice is not what she's accustomed to. Beatrice gives him a polite nod, which she reasons serves as an etiquette bandaid before she rants.]

You as well. Listen, it's hardly as if I haven't encountered the audible capital letters of doom before, but typically it has the grace to be for a word with more flair than "Stuff." I have spent the past few months attempting to put a proper name to a - magically active substance, and they just go with Stuff?! Speaking from a professional perspective it's - it's outrageous!

[credit_not_blame]

[If the jumpsuit hangs off of Beatrice, it's like a tent on Stacia. She's tied and belted it up in various ways, but there's no disguising that it couldn't be more ill-fitting if Jorgmund had tried.]

There's a point. I wonder if it's all Stuff or if it has different names in languages other than English.

Skipping right along to the good 'stuff', would you care to elaborate on what it means to be a former apprentice of your fifth circle? I'd like to know the appropriate amount of awe to put into my "ooh".

...Which sounds more sarcastic outside of my head than it did in.

[smallmediumwelldone]

[Judging by the suspicious bristling, Beatrice is absolutely not buying the accidental sarcasm excuse.]

Did it really, now. I suspect a great deal sounds very different within your head. As for your 'question', since you are so very curious, it entails being able to prove your competence and effectiveness enough with Thauma-, er, mystical arts that you may run your own projects..while also being able to avoid promotion enough that you are not responsible for the busywork of your peers or, Heavens forfend, expectations of politicking. Do feel free to 'ooh' at any moment.

[She's a little smug about it, okay. Doing your best to avoid politics responsibility is hard work.]

...You do have a point, though. Even merely calling it Stuff in another language would be more bearable. Latin is appropriate for discoveries, and lends some gravitas.

[Video]

[thewholeofthemoon]

[Well. That's certainly more interesting than the reading he was doing.]

[There's a bit of low-key swearing as the video comes up, mostly because Remus is still learning the ins and outs of these things. Stacia has given him lessons, but mostly it's trial and error.]

[He's early twenties, with blond hair and a thin face. A face that is crossed by a few scars. But his eyes are inquisitive and interested.]

Evening, Ms. Brewer. I'm afraid I don't know much about a fifth circle of magi, but having more magic users here isn't a bad thing. Though I don't doubt that you'll find your powers somewhat more limited here, as myself and my friend have.

[He can at least say that much. Because it is true.]

That said. Considering what I've seen of so-called 'corporate speak' [And yes, he does air quotes because he's from the early 80s.] I would imagine that they could certainly have been more creative than 'Stuff', but I imagine we would have suffered all the more for their creativity.

[He still hates that one day in front of a bunch of drones that kept him hopelessly trapped with things he didn't understand. Perhaps fitting, in its own way.]

Re: [Video]

[smallmediumwelldone]

[Oh, he's polite and a magic user? Beatrice gives him a nod over the comm. Mostly. She's still looking slightly to the side of it, where the display would be and not the lens. Either way, it's deep enough to be genuine.]

A good evening to you as well, sir, even if the technology seems to be treating you poorly as well. Thank you for being willing to be the bringer of ill news, but it does match to some of what I have already observed. A difference, perhaps, in what assumptions our magic make upon the rules of the world? Terribly inconvenient.

[She forces air through to sigh dramatically. How very dare her rituals be messed with.]

At least there are others in the same boat. Power in numbers. I daresay you are right about the 'corporate speak' as well.

Solutions Amplifying Synergy of Intellectual Capital, or something horrid like that.

video;

[whethertheyshould]

Welcome to the madhouse, Ms. Brewer. I do hope the crises here are up to the challenge.

Re: video;

[smallmediumwelldone]

Hrm, what was it Nellie Bly wrote any madhouse should have as a sign? 'He who enters here leaveth hope behind.'

All things considered given the circumstances, I'd prefer if they live down to it instead. Curtains roll, we all cheer wildly, and everyone trots off to sip drinks on the beach or whatever favored locale.

[Video] [Locked to New Hires]

[bringinghopewithme]

G'day mate. Get one of the kids to show you how to lock this just to us.

[Bunny has propped his communicator in a knot on the oak tree in the garden, where he's working on preparing some of his small test patch garden to grow . . . something.

He got the sense of older from her formality and her unfamiliarity with the technology, therefore she might need a few of the prompts he did.]

Before you ask - I already tested, it's secure, nobody who's not a New Hire can't see it, and if they could I'da been electrocuted a few more times than I have.

It might be helpful if you'd come to the garden sometime to compare notes about magic. You older than mortal or am I off?

Re: [Video] [Locked to New Hires]

[smallmediumwelldone]

...

[What. WHAT. When Beckett had mentioned the Easter Bunny, she had taken it for a joke. At least this heads up allows her to not gape. Beatrice just looks instead like she has been presented with an incredibly confusing dead bird. Or bunny, as it were.]

I- ah. No, you have the right of it. Not quite yet two centuries, which in the grand scheme of things - [oh god, she can feel the urge to panic ramble.] Er, Mr. Bunny, I presume?

Comparing notes sounds like a useful place to start tackling this dreadful - ahem. Yes, certainly. It... it is Mr. Bunny, yes? Is that the best way to - refer to you or-