[video] [encrypted]

[trialbyliar]

[Someone has spent the last few hours holed up reading through everything on the network. Everything. Every post on both the public and encrypted networks, every comment, every introduction. He might have made notes if he'd had any paper, but for now he's just keeping it all in his head. And it's a lot.

But finally, he gets around to making a post himself. The new face that pops up on the comms is young, though the exact age is hard to determine – one of those baby faces that could be anywhere from like twelve to eighteen. He seems thoroughly unimpressed as he sits back to stare down the communicator screen.]

Wow, the corporate hellscape was pretty bad, but apparently there's a murderer on the loose, too? You'd think they'd at least switch up the genre this time.

[Who is "they"? Well, that's what he'd like to know.

But his expression abruptly changes, all childish excitement and wonder. He grins down at the communicator, nearly bouncing with excess energy.]

But how cool! A special network secret from Jorgmund? It's like we're spies! I'm sure with everyone working together, we can get out of this whole mess!

[Aw, how nice. Unfortunately, that optimistic energy suddenly disappears as the smile drops off his face, replaced with a sly smirk.]

Is that what I'm supposed to say? You're all pretty naive if you really think this network is any safer than the other one! I guess that's how so many of you have gotten picked off by just one killer, huh? What, did you just skip up to this mystery lady like "heeeyyy, you totally won't peel my face off, right?" and expect to be best friends?

[ bitch that's rude ]

Aaaanyway, I guess it's pretty standard to introduce ourselves on these things. Pretty rude of you guys to not even bother meeting people properly in person, but whatevs!

[He leans back in his seat, sizing up the communicator like it's an actual person prostate before him, and spreads his arms in a theatrical gesture.]

I'm Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader. I'm sure we're all gonna be the best of friends!

[A cheery smile, completely shameless as he tacks on at the end:]

But that's a lie. You should probably know I'm a liar.

Comments

[bringinghopewithme]

Oh yeah? What was the dropout rate?

[if it's true, well, no wonder this kid is being so flamboyantly, attention-grabbingly edgy. He and his world need help, and you dont get help by staying quiet.

If it's not ... hey sometimes teens are just Like That. Bunny guesses. He still has a lot more to learn about teens from all the one's he's surprised to talk to now.]

[trialbyliar]

[83%. If by "dropout" you mean "death", anyway.]

Huh? Didn't I say it was a lie? Those big rabbit ears seem pretty useless if you couldn't even hear that!

[bringinghopewithme]

[He did but maybe they'll get to that.]

Oh of course. My mistake. Let me try again.

Where you from, New Kid?

[trialbyliar]

Japan.

[That's actually not a lie. Probably. He's not inclined to admit to anyone how little he remembers and how much he distrusts those memories.]

Your accent is soooo cool. Like a movie star! Are you from Australia? Is Easter originally from Australia or something? I don't know too much about Western holidays.

[bringinghopewithme]

[File that one as a 'maybe.']

Under it and no. It's a world holiday where I'm from.

[The sudden turn of pleasant questions leaves him waiting for the other shoe to drop.]

Japan, huh? What part? I'm partial to Kitakyushu.

[His accent basically mangles the poor city.]

[trialbyliar]

[Smoothly, he just makes something up.]

Tokyo! A supreme leader's gotta be at the center of all the action, of course. And there are some great places for dessert in Shinjuku!

[And now back to changing the subject, which doubles nicely as "playing nice and making friends".]

But what do you mean, "under it"? Do you have a secret lair? Is there a huge colony of giant rabbits lurking underground biding their time until a full-scale invasion?

[bringinghopewithme]

I'll have to take your word for it. I don't get good service in shops. They treat me like I'm bloody invisible.

[Boy he will lead this kid as far away from his entire dead species as he can.]

Of course not. Rabbits aren't native to Australia. If you're gonna Supreme Lead things you oughta know a thing or two about invasive species.

[trialbyliar]

[Two idiots trying to make small talk while dodging backstory. Surely this will go great.

Bunny does get a laugh out of him, though.]

Well you can't invade if you're already native, right? So it actually sounds even more likely. Hey, I'll let you guys have Australia if I get all of Asia after the bunnypocalypse.

[bringinghopewithme]

Hmm. Throw in Europe and I'll consider an alliance.

[trialbyliar]

[Bunny is quickly becoming his favorite.]

Wow, you drive a hard bargain. Fine, but I have dibs on North America! My minions overseas would be super sad if I just abandoned them.

[bringinghopewithme]

How'd you get North American minions, exchange program? Vacation? Assassination assignment?

[trialbyliar]

That's classified info! Only high ranking members of my organization get to know the secrets of the recruiting process.

[bringinghopewithme]

Well jeeze, you could just tell me another lie then. How would I know the difference?

[trialbyliar]

How do you know that wasn't a lie right there, hmm?

[bringinghopewithme]

Well gosh. How would I. Y'sure got me at every turn. It's almost like I got nothin' to gain from talkin' to you at all.

[How much a bid for attention IS this, anyway?]

[trialbyliar]

Aaaalmost. But not quite. After all, I was lying. The truth is, the whole recruitment process is just me offering an invitation! As Supreme Leader, my word is all that really matters.

[Is he trying to keep the conversation going or is he serious?? The world will never knows.]

So I could let you join, if you're prepared to declare your absolute loyalty to me.

[bringinghopewithme]

[A long, exaggerated wince.]

Boy, that's gonna be difficult, seein' as how I already sold my soul to the Moon and all. We got a real conflict of interests going on here.

[trialbyliar]

Woah, so all those stories about a rabbit making mochi on the moon are true?

[But now he's curious. Though he'll maintain that same attitude, childish and just overdramatic enough to leave it uncertain how serious he's being about anything.]

So what kind of benefits does working for the moon get you? It must be something pretty special to turn down such a rare opportunity.

[bringinghopewithme]

Oh you know, amazing health insurance. [Not that he needed the immortality, but still.] Not much of a 401k, though. Pay's all right. [If you count being paid in ambient love and whimsical notoriety as all right, and he does.] But there's nothing like the satisfaction of the job well done. The usual. Those are usual things for job benefits, right?

Yeah, you're gonna have to offer something pretty appealing to get me to be your minion. But why don't you tell me about YOUR employee benefits, see if you can get me to come around?

[trialbyliar]

Hm? Well, obviously my organization's the place to be for those who want to make a difference. There's no better way to have a hand in changing the world! I'm the one who decides how it changes, of course, but I'm super nice so I take requests from people I like.

[Yes, that is a very legitimate and tangible benefit on the same level as healthcare and a 401k.]

I'm also super generous with breaks. Overworked minions are no good! Oh, and high-ranking members get to have teatime with their Supreme Leader.

[bringinghopewithme]

What if I don't like how you change it, and also what if I drink coffee?

[He doesn't but gosh do adult humans seem to be concerned about that substance and its presence (or not) in their day.]

[trialbyliar]

[Kokichi makes a face, making his stance of coffee very clear.]

Ugh. I guess you can drink whatever you want, if you prefer that bitter crap. More tea for me! And since I'm soooo tolerant and understanding, trusted members can use that quality time to bring up any concerns with me directly. I'm a good listener, y'know.

[bringinghopewithme]

So considerate! So conscientious! How'd you learn to be so kind and understanding, anyway?

[trialbyliar]

People skills are super important for a Supreme Leader! It's just a natural talent, though. I guess that's why I'm the one with the Ultimate title, huh?

[The irony of bragging about his people skills right after deliberately pissing off most of the New Hires...]

[bringinghopewithme]

[The controlled ability to apply stress via annoyance is, technically, a people skill.]

Amazing. Who awarded you such an apt title?