Brand New (OTA) [video]

[runes_brand]

[Brand has been kidnapped, disarmed, and tortured with bad slide shows, electric shocks, and small talk. Today can officially get fucked. At least fallout from the fucking "Go-Away bombs" hasn't suppressed his bond to Rune -- he can feel him just fine, even if he's not entirely sure what to make about the emotions he's getting. But that can be resolved and soon as he fucking finds Rune, which would be easier if he had any fucking idea of where to start.

The sensor in front of the Mess only gets a scowl, and Brand stalks off to find another place to hole up and try and get in touch with Rune. It doesn't take him long to find something that looks like a corporate break room threw up on itself.

When an unfamiliar face appears on the network, it's wearing a near-homicidal expression, because that's just how Brand looks when he doesn't fucking know where Rune is.]

Where the [BEEP] is Rune Saint John?

[Do you answer this angry stranger about one of your fellow New Hires? Or do you try to find out more?]

Comments

video

[valkywhee]

Okay, before I answer this, I need to know if you wanna kill him metaphorically or literally, 'cause if it's literally I'm not telling you.

Re: video

[runes_brand]

[That's an acceptable question. How the fuck does she know Rune already though? Brand had gone through processing by himself.]

I don't want to kill him either metaphorically or literally. I just want to [BEEP]ing find him.

[valkywhee]

Are you sure? Not even the whole "if you pull that again I'm gonna kill you!" thing people do because they don't like being afraid so they channel it into anger?

[jfc Nora]

[runes_brand]

[That's a less acceptable (if accurate) question.]

This [BEEP] isn't his fault. So no, not that either. Where is he?

[valkywhee]

[okay, fair enough]

He's around somewhere. I saw him at PT this morning.

[She looks over her shoulder and yells.]

HEY, RUNE! CHECK YOUR COMM!

[That oughta do it.]

[runes_brand]

[PT? This morning? Fuck, how long had Brand been out? They'd better not have fucked up Rune's shoulder.]

...He knows I'm here, we just don't [BEEP]ing know where the other is.

[And that beeping is getting really annoying.]

[valkywhee]

[Nora doesn't ask how Rune would know because 1. she's kinda dumb when she's not being insightful about people and 2. eh it's probably weird magic.]

Then sit tight and he'll find you. If he gets stuck under the mistletoe he'll probably call.

[runes_brand]

...Mistletoe's an actual [BEEP]ing hazard around here?

[valkywhee]

Not the plastic junk, but watch out for the real stuff. It's magic and it's been trapping people.

[yep]

This place is weird.

[runes_brand]

...[BEEP].

Any other hazards I should keep an eye out for?

[valkywhee]

The Yuck Puddle, most of the staff, some of the deckplates are loose, there might still be some rogue office supplies hiding out after they all came to life a while back and started trying to kill us.

[t h i n k i n g . . .]

I think that's it.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Planker. Planker is definitely a hazard that needs to be looked out for.

[valkywhee]

I said staff! He's staff!

[fromfryingpantofire]

Planker requires his own warning. Staff is one thing. Planker is something completely different.

[valkywhee]

If you're in decent shape, he's not that bad. Still a huge jerk, though.

[Nora is a perky morning person and has the stamina of an ultramarathoner. Planker's workouts don't faze her.]

[fromfryingpantofire]

I'm in pretty good shape and if I didn't also have telekinesis, I'd probably have been seriously injured in at least one of his rooms. Possibly more.

[Sam's a perky morning person, too. Problem is that he's still just mostly human.]

[valkywhee]

I liked the electricity one.

[runes_brand]

Gonna need a [BEEP]ing description of what he looks like for that to be helpful.

[fromfryingpantofire]

[Sam sketches out a quick verbal description of Planker.]

He's mainly in charge of our "training". Likes to pull us into obstacle courses from Hell.

[And Sam's been there, so he knows.]

[runes_brand]

[Brand has yet to learn about how much Sam says "Hell" when he means "Hell". He'd ask for more information, except this 'Planker' could certainly access this little chat. He'll have to continue it in person (ugh), but that'll at least give him a better opportunity to assess how in-shape Sam actually is to determine how to approach the obstacle courses.]

Noted. Sounds like a [BEEP]ing party.

[runes_brand]

The [BEEP]'s the Yuck Puddle?

[The rest of it seems fairly straight-forward. Even the rogue office supplies aren't too weird, though he should get his hands on some to see how they're different from wild magic shit. Maybe they're trainable, that could be entertaining.]

[valkywhee]

Gross, that's what it is. I think it might be alive.

[Nora that's totally useless.]

[runes_brand]

[That gets an eye roll. It's a good eye roll, Brand had a lot of practice even before he and Rune added teens and a precocious preteen to their home.]

Is it mobile? Acidic? Is there something [BEEP]ing living in it that will try to eat people?

[valkywhee]

It's slimy, you can't mop it up, and it migrates. It smells like gym socks and failure and I think it eats mice.

[runes_brand]

[That there's mice around here for this thing to potentially fucking eat doesn't bode well. Brand sighs.]

'Yuck Puddle' it is then.