Jorgmund Emergency Announcement

[piper90npcs]

[In the middle of the night, when even the night watch shifts should be pacing through the dorm area, there’s a peal of noise from the communicators impossible to ignore or sleep through. It’s clearly an alarm of some sort, like tornado alerts back on Earth. It goes on for solid three minutes, long enough for everyone to move on from being woken by it to loathing it, before a message shows up on the communicators-

-and the doorways out of each of the dorms are sealed with a semi-translucent forcefield.

On the communicator screen, Richard Washburn shows up and straightens his tie.]

Hello, employees. Believe me, I’m not any happier about this midnight interruption than you are, but we’re currently in a state of – mild – emergency. I don’t want anyone to get overly excited, but until the situation is resolved, you will remain in your dorms. Depending on how long this takes, all activities scheduled for tomorrow morning have been suspended.

The reason for this is that we have an intruder in your living quarters. We have this footage from a few weeks ago.

[A new image shows up on the communicator: a security camera video of a Santa Claus with a line of the highest executive-level parents and their small children waiting to tell him their wishlist. A little girl in pigtails and a sparkly t-shirt of a Christmas tree hops up onto his lap.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa says, and he boops her nose. “Aren’t you a peach? Tell me, little one. What would you like for Christmas?”

“I want a big plastic spider!” the girl says excitedly.

“A creepy little child, aren’t you? Well, that’s just swell, because that’s my favorite flavor,” Santa says, and then – blurry on the security camera footage – transforms into a mass of black goo, latching onto the little girl’s face and suctioning to stay on. The child’s mother screams and yanks her daughter away, and the footage shows pure pandemonium as some parents lunge forward to help the mother with her daughter while other parents snatch their own children and start running. In all the chaos, the black goo vanishes.

Washburn flicks the footage away and reappears on the screen.]

Thankfully, there were no fatalities in this incident, and after we couldn’t find any evidence of the attacker, we assumed that it was a freak incident of the Stuff. However, there was recently another unsuccessful attack on a teenager by this same creature posing as one of the tutors on the Rig, and then again on another thankfully unharmed child disguised as another child, and then on another child under the guise of a children’s television show host named “Mr. Rogers”, and tonight-

[He takes a deep breath, annoyed, as if this is somehow the Hires’ faults.]

-tonight we found a security breach to your floor, and we have good reason to believe that the shapeshifter is posing as one of you.

We know this: we know it poses as figures appealing to children, so for obvious reasons, you won’t be allowed anywhere near any Jorgmund staff whatsoever until this is resolved. We know that its ability to disguise itself is relatively seamless. And we know that it preys on minors.

If you can determine who among you isn’t at all appealing to children, we can consider releasing you from your dorm and discussing next steps to search out whoever’s been replaced.

If this starts taking long enough that it jeopardizes the Jorgmund’s mission, we may start taking more drastic measures to ensure that we aren’t harboring any imposters.

I’ll keep you updated if you keep me updated.

Comments

[bothbarrels]

I should know better than to say things like that to you.

[infailtration]

[ Now York sounds really delighted. ]

It'll be fun!

[bothbarrels]

You want to play spin-the-bottle, too? Go fish?

[infailtration]

And never have I ever.

[bothbarrels]

Okay, that one's a little more my speed.

[ He thinks it might surprise York some of the stuff he's done. ]

[infailtration]

I don't know, I haven't heard anything too wild yet...

[bothbarrels]

It'll happen. I'll pencil you in on my calendar.

[ Which obviously doesn't exist. ]

[infailtration]

Theta, remind him for us when we get out of here. You won't forget.

[bothbarrels]

You expect me to forget?

[infailtration]

You might dodge it.

[bothbarrels]

York, I'm insulted. I'd love to play a game with you. Why would you ever think anything different?

[infailtration]

Even truth or dare?

[bothbarrels]

[ He snickers. ]

I mean, sure, but I'm going to feel like we're about fourteen.

[infailtration]

Sometimes that's part of what makes it fun, though.

[bothbarrels]

All right, all right, it's clearly very important to you.

[ He's laughing as he says this. ]

We'll have a sleepover, make a night of it.

[infailtration]

Whenever I'm allowed to leave my room again.

Theta agreed to verify us?

[bothbarrels]

Yeah, he basically feels it's important, despite not really wanting to leave me. I told him he didn't have to, but he agreed to do it.

[infailtration]

You might want to warn him my mind might be... uncomfortable?

[bothbarrels]

Would it?

[ Hearing that is concerning. ]

Because Delta's gone?

[infailtration]

Yeah. It still hurts. I don't know if he'd experience it the same way I do, but I don't want to cause him any suffering either. So if he doesn't want to come to me, I could probably clear myself with just my power.

[bothbarrels]

Thank you for the warning. He said he'll think about it.

[infailtration]

Of course.

[ The last thing he wants is to hurt the little AI. ]

Just let me know.

[bothbarrels]

We will.