OVER THE PA SYSTEM

[piper90npcs]

Goooooood morning boys and girls! And especially those boys. You know which ones I mean. That's right, everyone, the Jorgmund Swimsuit Calendars are out and they are hot, hot, HOT! And, no, I'm not just saying that because I'm in the firefighter's catalogue!

[Canned laughter.]

Of course, the real special interest for some of you are those New Hire calendars. We got the robot chick, the ninja girl, the surly-and-smoking bodyguard, the cat boy, that spicy Cajun and-oh. We've even got a calendar for kids! No swimsuits, just an array of lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

So come on down to the PX and pick up tomorrow's calendar, today! And, thanks to that handsome blue devil, they come with a free tiger poster!

[Of course, the New Hires get a random calendar in their rooms for free. Never let it be said Jorgmund hasn't done anything for them! The calendars themselves are... actually a little spicy, some of them. Each New Hire who participated gets their own, and there's a mix. That or they might find themselves with a fireman's calendar, the one stuffed with mechanics, or one of the other offerings.]

Comments

[nyanhat]

[ In whatever hallway Ranulf happens to be passing through when the PA system comes on, he stops, and blinks...and frowns. ]

Hey, now, I'm well into my fifties! No need to make it sound so...what do you say now. Jailbaity?

[ We're not sure who taught him that one, but it hardly matters. ]

[pain_train]

[ ....wait all that stuff about cat boys and such is about them? Since this guy is a new hire, and she just got here, she is... too? ]

If you're the cat boy, what does that make me? [ Because okay. The ears on him. But... she's not a robot or a ninja or a bodyguard... ]

[nyanhat]

Oh, hey! Don't think I've seen you before, so you probably got here after when they were taking all those pictures. Which is enviable.

But yes, I...am "the cat boy," apparently. But "Ranulf" is better, so let's stick to that.

[pain_train]

Oh, whew. I don't remember pictures, but you never know. Weird things happen.

Nice to meet you, Ranulf! My name's Wrath.

[credit_not_blame]

[Stacia just happens to be passing by close enough to hear this and gape at him.]

You're in your fifties?! Holy shit, what, do you have a five-hundred year lifespan?

[nyanhat]

Nah, that's getting into dragon territory. I'd say we've got...twice the human lifespan? Roughly. The birds have more like three times a human.

[credit_not_blame]

What the shit. [Stacia shakes her head.] I'd have thought you were maybe thirty with a good skincare regime. Seethingly jealous now.

[nyanhat]

[ Ahaha. He scratches his head and shrugs. It's just biology! ]

So, by this I'm assuming you're running on the same track as ordinary humans.

[credit_not_blame]

Yeah. [Stacia shrugs, then makes a face.] But most of us don't make it to old age anyway, so I suppose I'm just jealous for me.

[nyanhat]

That rare, huh.

[ He frowns. Not that plenty of laguz haven't died far too young, but their lot has improved considerably since most of the human nations abolished slavery. ]

Is that just politics, or is there more at work there? If you don't mind me asking, of course.

[credit_not_blame]

No, it's fine to ask. We're...we fight monsters. Like, real gross terror-and-pain-flavors-the-meat kind of things. We've got a pretty high mortality rate, I've lost track of how many times I've almost died since I shifted for the first time, and that was three years ago at this point.

[nyanhat]

Ouch. Is that a tradition thing? A trouble finds us so we're stuck with it thing? A nobody else does this so it's on us thing?

[credit_not_blame]

All three to one degree or another. [Stacia chews her lip, considering her wording carefully.] Like...bad stuff is happening, and we're the ones best equipped to deal with it. But there aren't enough of us, and we don't have a lot of people we can turn to for help.

[googledox]

Longer lifespans often lead to aging processes that can be more difficult to gauge by other species.

Back home, there were a few teammates from other worlds that were unfamiliar with the Coluan aging process. They thought I was still a teenager. But I'm 24. This was only a year or two ago.

[He doesn't look 24.]

I'm actually a father.

[credit_not_blame]

Yeah, but I know you're an alien and that I have zero knowledge on which to base any assumptions. He and I are just way less similar than I thought we might be. Which I suppose is a good reminder about making assumptions at all.

[Stacia fiddles with her comm a bit, and a private message pops up on Brainy's:]

I'm sorry that you've been separated from your child(ren). Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, aside from waving a magic wand and getting us all sent home again.

locked, text

[googledox]

Sadly, without the magic wand, there's not much you can do.

But we can all try to help one another escape this place.

locked, text

[credit_not_blame]

I figured there wasn't much I could do, but I had to make the offer just in case.

I'm always down for teamwork to take down a larger and more dangerous foe. I've got that "let's work together!" instinct coming from both sides.