[locked to new hires] [video]

[tr1xx]

[ The comm. recording the video is set to hover mode, showing a short girl in a too-big coveralls balanced on the balls of her feet on a seat, knees up and bouncing idly. She can't be more than seventeen, and you'd be forgiven (if not by her) for assuming a little younger.

She looks, for all intents and purposes, like a perfectly average teenager. Her most distinguishing feature is the distinctly non-Jorgmund assigned mechanical rabbit ears that peek up from her head, fastened to a ring that doubles almost as a hair-tie, keeping her long blonde hair up in a ponytail. One of the ears twitches and turns towards something off-camera before facing dead ahead again.

When she speaks, it's with a distinctly Scottish accent. ]

So this is a shite situation. Sure I'm preachin' to the choir there, but seriously, what the fuck? Thought I'd been captured for a second there and well, guess I have, just not by the bastards I thought I was. Ach. I cannae believe I'm sayin' this but I think I liked it better when I thought the Union'd got me, least then I mighta been rescued...

[ But nope. No rescue here. Just an evil corporation and a shock collar. No teammates, no Nugget, no Ether, no Holon, no nothing. She groans, throws her head back dramatically, then sighs and composes herself. She's supposed to be adaptable, right? So... she better start adapting. And fast. ]

Anyway... hullo! [ she waves ] I'm Cammie.

Nice set-up ye got. Looks like a real solid encryption. 'Course, I'm hardly familiar with the code structure here, not yet anyway, but if you've managed to go undetected this long... well, whoever's responsible musta done a damn good job.

Speaking of, if any of ye do ken a thing or two about how tech and all that works here, hit a girl up. I see ye've all got somethin' going on here [ she's done some of the reading, though there's more to do ] and technology's really what I do.

[ She points up at her ears with both fingers and they wiggle back and forth. ]

Designed these myself, for example. They do basically all ma hearin' for me, so please don't go sneakin' up on me if I don't have 'em on. Not unless ye want to get reflexively punched in the stomach by a seventeen year old girl.

[ She flashes a grin, then stops recording and slumps. Ah, fuck. ]

P(aintball) S(ervice) A(nnouncement) [Video]

[onequartershark]

This is Carolina. I've been asked to make a... public service-slash-safety announcement.

[ Carolina looks tired. Carolina also sounds tired, her voice is as dry as the Sahara. From how her eyes keep flicking downward, she's evidently reading something aloud. (And, on occasion, squinting judgmentally at the choices of whoever wrote it.) ]

It has come to the attention of management that certain individuals were... particularly enthusiastic about our recent Mandatory Fun Team Building Activity.

[ She pronounces the capital letters. As for the activity: It was paintball. There were winners. There were losers. There were tears. Carolina is very much among those who may have won a little too hard and has the bruises to prove it.

So do some other people.

She continues, still mostly monotone. ]

While employee participation in Mandatory Fun Activities is compulsory and enthusiasm is encouraged, management wishes to remind you that it is our goal here at Jorgmund to win together. Unsportsmanlike behavior, excessive force, and - [ She hesitates for just a split second, clenching her jaw as she obviously swallows the desire to argue ] - bending of the rules are not welcome in Mandatory Fun and may result in corrective action.

Those who have demonstrated a need for corrective action today already know who they are.

[ She gives the camera a long, significant, withering look. ]

This concludes the public service-slash-safety announcement. Have a pleasant day and...

[ She doesn't roll her eyes, but it's a very near thing. ]

...remember we're all here to make this better, together.

((OOC: This post is intended to refer to a big, stupid, chaotic game that is described through what characters say/what kind of shape they're in/what they complain about afterward. Improvise, imply need for corrective action, find ways your character got to sit out and laugh at everyone else, etc. Have fun with it! ))

[Video] [Encoded]

[fromfryingpantofire]

[There's laughter in the background as Sam starts up the video. Sam has a long-suffering look on his face. There's a card on his desk, along with a box of...well, they're Jorgmund chocolates. So probably not great, but chocolate, at least.]

[The main reason for the look, though, is the t-shirt in Sam's hands. The t-shirt is big, but probably still a bit on the small side for him to wear. But the front of it has his Jorgmund employee ID picture printed on it with hearts surrounding it.]

[He looks over his shoulder, rolling his eyes.]

Laugh it up, you two.

[He sighs, turning back to the camera.]

So. Did anybody else get any weird gifts from persons unknown? Or am I the 'lucky' one?