P(aintball) S(ervice) A(nnouncement) [Video]

[onequartershark]

This is Carolina. I've been asked to make a... public service-slash-safety announcement.

[ Carolina looks tired. Carolina also sounds tired, her voice is as dry as the Sahara. From how her eyes keep flicking downward, she's evidently reading something aloud. (And, on occasion, squinting judgmentally at the choices of whoever wrote it.) ]

It has come to the attention of management that certain individuals were... particularly enthusiastic about our recent Mandatory Fun Team Building Activity.

[ She pronounces the capital letters. As for the activity: It was paintball. There were winners. There were losers. There were tears. Carolina is very much among those who may have won a little too hard and has the bruises to prove it.

So do some other people.

She continues, still mostly monotone. ]

While employee participation in Mandatory Fun Activities is compulsory and enthusiasm is encouraged, management wishes to remind you that it is our goal here at Jorgmund to win together. Unsportsmanlike behavior, excessive force, and - [ She hesitates for just a split second, clenching her jaw as she obviously swallows the desire to argue ] - bending of the rules are not welcome in Mandatory Fun and may result in corrective action.

Those who have demonstrated a need for corrective action today already know who they are.

[ She gives the camera a long, significant, withering look. ]

This concludes the public service-slash-safety announcement. Have a pleasant day and...

[ She doesn't roll her eyes, but it's a very near thing. ]

...remember we're all here to make this better, together.

((OOC: This post is intended to refer to a big, stupid, chaotic game that is described through what characters say/what kind of shape they're in/what they complain about afterward. Improvise, imply need for corrective action, find ways your character got to sit out and laugh at everyone else, etc. Have fun with it! ))

Comments

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[zerofield]

I would like to request that someone instruct me in how to better handle a gun for the sake of future team-building activities.

Also so that Mr. Rune will not insist in my remaining unarmed in any future missions involving xenomorphs.

[monkey_wrench]

rune took your gun?

[zerofield]

I don't have one of my own. But I wasn't given my usual weapon on my first mission here, and he didn't appreciate my interest in the provided flamethrowers.

[monkey_wrench]

That's not much better. That's a situation where a flame thrower would have been extremely useful. What the hell were you supposed to do unarmed?

[Also, screw Jorgumd for not giving everyone their normals weapons on that kind of mission.]

[zerofield]

Let him handle it, I suppose.

[ Her issues with this plan are probably obvious. ]

[monkey_wrench]

[...Okay, funny as the sass was, that obviously wasn't a reasonable solution for future missions.]

alright. i'm definitely not the best shot here, but i suppose if you were serious about wanting to know how to handle a gun better, i could probably help with that.

[zerofield]

It's better to know things than not. Thank you.

[hot_dad]

[Here's Rune spluttering and gesturing vaguely at the screen.]

Where I come from, we don't just let kids play around with guns!

[monkey_wrench]

okay, yeah, i get that. generally the same rule in my world. but this wasn't "playing" it was defending yourselves from acid-spitting nightmare horrors from space. kinda different.

[hot_dad]

Yes, and a kid that doesn't actually know how to handle a gun is just as likely to hurt themself or someone else with it. That's why I told her to stick with me.

[monkey_wrench]

well, i'll give you that it worked. can't really argue that since you're both obviously still alive. but that's definitely not a good long-term solution. we can agree on that, right?

[hot_dad]

Obviously. I wasn't exactly expecting this to be a long-term situation when I first got here.

[zerofield]

[ ;) ]

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[fromfryingpantofire]

Yeah, I can do that.

Teach you how to use a gun, at least.

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[zerofield]

I'd appreciate it!

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[runes_brand]

[This is the first Brand has heard about Rune and a mission involving xenomorphs. Somebody's in trouble...]

I can teach you about guns. They're not necessarily the most versatile weapon, though. What are you used to using?

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[zerofield]

[ Whistles innocently, mischief managed. ]

Normally I mostly use orbal arts, which I imagine most people here would describe as "magic." I do need my orbment to use them, though, and I haven't seen that since I got here.

I have a staff that generates a similar effect, albeit at lower power and no real flexibility with regard to elements or area of effect, but without requiring the same concentration or finesse to manage. They have given me that on some missions...but not on others.

[ Which is hella annoying needless to say - ]

Without either of them, I can't do much in a fight. Which you probably already noticed.

[ Thanks for taking point on the babydon't thing, btw. ]

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[runes_brand]

Do you use your staff for hitting things or just for magic?

[Magic has its upsides, don't get him wrong, but sometimes it's faster and easier to fucking hit something.]

If you want to learn how to punch someone in the kidneys or gouge out their eyes, I can teach you that too. You know how to stay out of the ▊▊▊▊ing way already; that puts you above some people I've taught.

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[zerofield]

Magic. It discharges on every swing, so I usually aim to keep some distance. It can probably stand up to hitting things, though; orbments are designed to work under rough conditions.

[ It might be more satisfying, too, when she thinks on it... ]

Anything I can do unarmed would be good. I'm obviously an easy target.

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[runes_brand]

[He'll have to work with her to see what in the training room best approximates the weight, length, and balance of what she's used to. If she's going to be hauling something around with her, she might as well learn to use it as a bludgeon.] I can teach you a few tricks. You've got good instincts on how to stay out of the way; I've taught kids with less.

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[zerofield]

Thank you.

[ For the offer, she means, not for the comment about her instincts, which frankly she considers to be something common sense enough that it's not like it's a compliment. It's more like saying "I can teach you, you're not a moron."

But Tio's certainly learned that what she considers common sense is frequently not as common as she'd hope. ]

[onequartershark]

Looks like you've got some takers on that, but if you want another opinion you can consider my door open.

[ When it comes to weapons, Carolina's probably more an example of how the gifted kid isn't the best teacher because things came too naturally to them. But if someone asks, she'll try. ]

I did see you hit that guy from billing. You're not hopeless.

[zerofield]

One of my friends back home was an amazing shot. If I'd had any idea I'd need it now, I'd have paid more attention to what she did.

[onequartershark]

Don't go too hard on yourself, observation doesn't help as much as practice. Eventually you reach the point where it's instinctive and you don't have to think about it.

Longer range is a little more psychological.

[zerofield]

That makes sense. She always made it look pretty effortless, though.

[ Elie was just that cool. ]