[video] [encrypted]

[trialbyliar]

[Someone has spent the last few hours holed up reading through everything on the network. Everything. Every post on both the public and encrypted networks, every comment, every introduction. He might have made notes if he'd had any paper, but for now he's just keeping it all in his head. And it's a lot.

But finally, he gets around to making a post himself. The new face that pops up on the comms is young, though the exact age is hard to determine – one of those baby faces that could be anywhere from like twelve to eighteen. He seems thoroughly unimpressed as he sits back to stare down the communicator screen.]

Wow, the corporate hellscape was pretty bad, but apparently there's a murderer on the loose, too? You'd think they'd at least switch up the genre this time.

[Who is "they"? Well, that's what he'd like to know.

But his expression abruptly changes, all childish excitement and wonder. He grins down at the communicator, nearly bouncing with excess energy.]

But how cool! A special network secret from Jorgmund? It's like we're spies! I'm sure with everyone working together, we can get out of this whole mess!

[Aw, how nice. Unfortunately, that optimistic energy suddenly disappears as the smile drops off his face, replaced with a sly smirk.]

Is that what I'm supposed to say? You're all pretty naive if you really think this network is any safer than the other one! I guess that's how so many of you have gotten picked off by just one killer, huh? What, did you just skip up to this mystery lady like "heeeyyy, you totally won't peel my face off, right?" and expect to be best friends?

[ bitch that's rude ]

Aaaanyway, I guess it's pretty standard to introduce ourselves on these things. Pretty rude of you guys to not even bother meeting people properly in person, but whatevs!

[He leans back in his seat, sizing up the communicator like it's an actual person prostate before him, and spreads his arms in a theatrical gesture.]

I'm Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader. I'm sure we're all gonna be the best of friends!

[A cheery smile, completely shameless as he tacks on at the end:]

But that's a lie. You should probably know I'm a liar.

Comments

[scavengineer]

I know plenty of nice rats. Besides, I'm a mouse.

[trialbyliar]

Isn't that kind of like a roomba insisting it's not a robot?

[scavengineer]

I believe it would be more along the lines of you insisting you're not a monkey.

Although to be honest, I've met more polite monkeys.

[trialbyliar]

Wow, guess I was right! You are super rude! I wonder if the Rig has an exterminator?

[scavengineer]

I'm not the one who jumped to barely disguised death threats.

Even if it is a lie, it's still a terrible thing to say to someone.

[trialbyliar]

Oh yeah, it'd be super awful to threaten to kill someone. But a rat is hardly "someone", right?

[scavengineer]

I hate to bring it up, because everyone matters, no matter what species or how big of a jerk they are matters. That said, you're not someone here either. Not to Jorgmund anyways.

And in that case, I have to wonder why you're so insistent on driving off any potential allies. It doesn't help you, and it doesn't help anybody else either.

[trialbyliar]

Why would I want allies? Supreme leaders have minions, not teammates.

[scavengineer]

They also tend not to be supreme leaders for very long.

Correlation isn't causation, but there is some interesting data there nonetheless.

[trialbyliar]

Well, that's why I'm the Ultimate Supreme Leader, isn't it? I'm waaaay better than all those scrubs!

[scavengineer]

I find that hard to believe, all things considered.

[trialbyliar]

It's true! My organization has over 10,000 members, all devotedly loyal to me! I mean, it only makes sense, since they all know the people who cross me are never heard from again.

[He's got that too-confident manner of a kid playing pretend. It's probably more believable back home where Ultimates are a known quantity, but no one could really be blamed for doubting him here.]

And good minions get afternoon tea breaks! So really, it only benefits them to work for me.

[scavengineer]

I also find that hard to believe.

[She pauses, something occurring to her.]

Do you have trouble making friends? Lack of ability to engage in proper social interaction would explain almost all of this conversation.

I've had troubles with it myself. Never to the extent of engaging in pathological lying, but I do understand how difficult it is for someone with less typical personality traits to engage with their peer group.

[trialbyliar]

And now you're accusing me of having no friends! You just get more and more rude!

[He's grinning, though, clearly not all that offended.]

But having "less typical personality traits" is what makes me the Ultimate Supreme Leader! The Ultimate Initiative wouldn't have picked me if just anyone could do what I do, right?

[scavengineer]

Incorrect, actually. I asked if you have trouble making friends. That doesn't mean you have no friends.

Although I will admit your preference for minions over allies does at least somewhat suggest it. Most people I've met like that don't really have friends themselves. Maybe because they don't like having to trust someone they don't have full control over?

But that's pure speculation on my part. I'm not exactly an expert on people, just machines.

[video]

[bringinghopewithme]

How long did you think that out before you decided to say it?

[Bunny has a headache already.]

[trialbyliar]

[ sorry not sorry ]

Woah!! An even bigger rodent appears!!

[bringinghopewithme]

Lagomorph.

[trialbyliar]

Gesundheit.

[Yes, he knows what a lagomorph is. He just likes playing dumb.]

You're the Easter Bunny, right? The real, actual Easter Bunny?

[Yes, he already had his moment of skepticism when he first read one of Bunny's introductions from and earlier post. He's past that. If he can accept a homicidal robot teddy bear, he can accept the goddamn Easter Bunny.]

[bringinghopewithme]

Ah, you have done your research.

[Done his research and still acting like this. Right.

Bunny's not sure what the kid's up to, only that it's something.]

[trialbyliar]

[It's something, alright.]

Well, if you're all gonna leave all this information laying around where just anyone can get at it, I might as well read it, riiight?

[bringinghopewithme]

Y'sure might as well.

[A kid's a kid, naughty or nice, deserving and going to receive his protection, if not his presents.

But a kid can be a quisling same as any adult, and he knew a quisling new hire was a possibility when he incriminated himself on the network to test the security of it.

If the kid is a quisling, and is not smart, he'll just play his hand too early and Bunny will get electrocuted a few more minutes and everyone will be aware to lock the kid out of stuff.

If he's smart it might take longer and he might get more info in that time. Time to just see which it is.]

Hey while I've got your attention, I've got a question for ya. What's your favorite fruit?

[trialbyliar]

Fruit?

[Huh. He'll play along.]

Grapes are the best, obviously. But only if they're liquified and carbonated!

[Yeah, he is...not really one for fresh fruit.]

[bringinghopewithme]

You could be talking about soda or champagne, and I really hope it's the soda one.

[trialbyliar]

Champagne, obviously! I spend every night blackout drunk on cheap booze!

[ kokichi plz ]

But that's a lie. Soda's way better than giving yourself brain damage.