P(aintball) S(ervice) A(nnouncement) [Video]

[onequartershark]

This is Carolina. I've been asked to make a... public service-slash-safety announcement.

[ Carolina looks tired. Carolina also sounds tired, her voice is as dry as the Sahara. From how her eyes keep flicking downward, she's evidently reading something aloud. (And, on occasion, squinting judgmentally at the choices of whoever wrote it.) ]

It has come to the attention of management that certain individuals were... particularly enthusiastic about our recent Mandatory Fun Team Building Activity.

[ She pronounces the capital letters. As for the activity: It was paintball. There were winners. There were losers. There were tears. Carolina is very much among those who may have won a little too hard and has the bruises to prove it.

So do some other people.

She continues, still mostly monotone. ]

While employee participation in Mandatory Fun Activities is compulsory and enthusiasm is encouraged, management wishes to remind you that it is our goal here at Jorgmund to win together. Unsportsmanlike behavior, excessive force, and - [ She hesitates for just a split second, clenching her jaw as she obviously swallows the desire to argue ] - bending of the rules are not welcome in Mandatory Fun and may result in corrective action.

Those who have demonstrated a need for corrective action today already know who they are.

[ She gives the camera a long, significant, withering look. ]

This concludes the public service-slash-safety announcement. Have a pleasant day and...

[ She doesn't roll her eyes, but it's a very near thing. ]

...remember we're all here to make this better, together.

((OOC: This post is intended to refer to a big, stupid, chaotic game that is described through what characters say/what kind of shape they're in/what they complain about afterward. Improvise, imply need for corrective action, find ways your character got to sit out and laugh at everyone else, etc. Have fun with it! ))

Comments

video;

[heterochrocatic]

Having to scrub paint out of my fur was worth the look on that pencil pusher's face when we nailed him though.

[onequartershark]

[ The reminder makes her smile some. ]

I will admit to feeling a little bad for the office goons.

But only a little.

voice;

[bothbarrels]

Sorry, I was trying to hit South in the goggles so she wouldn't be able to see anything. I was trying to do that without hitting her in the face elsewise, and it just...turned into a thing.

[ownperson]

'Just turned into a thing'? Oh no, you knew exactly what kind of war you were starting with that ████, don't go playing the innocent one this time, ███hole.

[ She sounds like she's been laughing. ]

[kingofneworleans]

De rule's only say dat dey gotta be hit by a paintball an' dat it needs to get paint on dem. Dere ain't anyt'in' in de rules 'bout it havin' to come outta de gun an' my aim's better wit'out one.

[onequartershark]

Though I am obligated to acknowledge the fairness of Mandatory Fun rules...

[ She has to do the ass covering first here. ]

I still think the one about wall jumping could stand review.

voice;

[whethertheyshould]

This is exactly why I,uh, decided not to participate. If you give people the opportunity to give off steam, someone's bound to get burnt in the process.

[onequartershark]

I thought it was fun.

To start with.

[fromfryingpantofire]

[Sam's expression is pretty flat.]

They give guns to a bunch of people trained in how to use them and are surprised that we used them effectively?

[onequartershark]

I'm not saying I'm strictly proud of myself.

[ Carolina knows she overdid it, it's really the resorting to public shaming that's making her want to dig in her heels here. ]

But I am saying some things are predictable.

video

[zerg_rush]

If they didn't want to be shot in the head, they should have banned head shots.

[onequartershark]

I think they just assumed people wouldn't.

What's that friendly communications reminder they emailed out yesterday about assumptions?

[ Corporate hell world corporate hell world ]

Re: video

[greyerrant]

Center of mass generally suffices. Headshots are just showing off.

video

[monkey_wrench]

Excessive force is the fun part of Mandatory Fun. If they didn't want anyone making paint bombs they should have been clear about that in the rules.

Re: video

[scavengineer]

I suppose I can see why the pressure plates and trip wires might have been seen as a little bit unfair, but we did keep within the rules as written.

Re: video

[onequartershark]

I wasn't even mad about the paint bomb! I was just surprised!

[ The rig youth squad is so far apparently resourceful and scrappy. The kids are alright. ]

[71lines]

Is it my fault if they fall for the crying girl in the shadows routine every time?

You'd think they'd catch on after all of the shapeshifters we've had here.

[credit_not_blame]

Oh, that was you? I wondered who else was pulling that trick!

[onequartershark]

No.

It's on them for falling for it.

Just rewards.

[ Good job, Tenten, she approves of this strategic use of being a girl. ]

Video

[pain_train]

Look, I said I was sorry! But like. If you wanted the showers off limits, you should have said in the rules! I was being strategic!

[onequartershark]

It was a natural choke point, given all the paint.

Ruthless. I like it.

video

[greyerrant]

Melee attacks should still be a permissible tactic.

video

[fuckingaqua]

Dude, no way! What are you gonna do, slap people around with a wet paintbrush? It's bad enough we had all these competent people playing with the rifles!

text

[passifloraincarnata]

I am certain whoever that was in the cafeteria will probably read this at some point or have it passed on to them, so: I apologize for being unfairly "good at dodging", but I don't appreciate being compared to someone who performs that sort of indecency with a horse's ... anatomy in response.

Plenty of our peers can aim, I am sure they'd be willing to give you lessons.

[onequartershark]

It's true. I think we're starting a list downthread.

text

[zerofield]

I would like to request that someone instruct me in how to better handle a gun for the sake of future team-building activities.

Also so that Mr. Rune will not insist in my remaining unarmed in any future missions involving xenomorphs.

[monkey_wrench]

rune took your gun?