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Untriumphant Returns [Text]
Alright. I'm back.
Don't ask me where I went. I'll save us all a lot of time by saying I have no fucking idea? I would be more disconcerted, but shit just happening for no reason is a wheelhouse with which I am passing familiar so I'm ready to move on.
What I do know is they processed me as a new hire, again, and any system communication referring to "Karkat 2" is in fact about the same long-suffering asshole you have already come to know.
Please don't send shit to my old inbox because I won't be able to access it.
Actually wait. Do send your shit to my old inbox. A fertile plot of soil conditioning can grow from everyone's unwanted inane comments. We can use it to feed our anemic and spineless earth vegetables. God knows they don't bite hard enough to get any protein.
Don't ask me where I went. I'll save us all a lot of time by saying I have no fucking idea? I would be more disconcerted, but shit just happening for no reason is a wheelhouse with which I am passing familiar so I'm ready to move on.
What I do know is they processed me as a new hire, again, and any system communication referring to "Karkat 2" is in fact about the same long-suffering asshole you have already come to know.
Please don't send shit to my old inbox because I won't be able to access it.
Actually wait. Do send your shit to my old inbox. A fertile plot of soil conditioning can grow from everyone's unwanted inane comments. We can use it to feed our anemic and spineless earth vegetables. God knows they don't bite hard enough to get any protein.
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Respectfully,
Planker
Head of Training
JORGMUND MESSAGE OF THE DAY: Life is like a book. Each day you have to write a new chapter. So make that positive. Have an awesome day!
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[ He hates you so much Planker, so much. ]
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Planker up there is the one in charge of it and I feel confident in letting that fact speak for itself here.
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[Wash is a freak.]
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[No, Karkat, he's just a freeeeeak.]
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[Like. Who hurt you, Karkat. What weirdo who liked getting bossed around by horses hurt you?]
I don't like getting bossed around, I'm just used to it. I used to be in the military.
[Now he's sort on glorified work release back home so it doesn't count as being in the military anymore. Work release with guns.]
I just like a good workout.
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It's more like a masochism party for stupid unlucky nookwhiffs.
If that sounds like your jam then I'm not judging.
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[The critique is light enough he's willing to put it on a public network, and besides, he has the argument prepared for Jorgmund that he needs to actually fit in. They know people aren't happy here.]
But if that weren't an issue this place would be fine.
[He honestly does think that. The last time he had a room with metal walls it was a lot worse than this. And even before the prison? Before the rather pathetic base after the Mother of Invention?]
Things we didn't even have on the Mother of Invention: walking trails through gardens, an old-timey library with vintage paper books, almost exclusively farm-to-table food instead of a mix of fresh food and...not, a scenic rooftop view over alien landscapes...
Foosball. This place has an arcade and meditation rooms, it's practically a spa.
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[Less a reflection on the current situation and more a reflection on the situations they came from.]
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[ Yeah, other than the shock collar, he actually kind of enjoys it here. ]
And who knows, if I'm supposed to be dead, maybe she'll show up sometime, too.
[ To him this is an upside to the place, although he would readily acknowledge it if Wash insists that's not so good. ]
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It's not exactly the ideal place for potential second chances.
But it could be worse. Maybe she'll get lucky.
[Just...so it's clear he's not going to automatically kill her again. Kinda decides on how she handles herself,]
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I would take that meteor with the most slaphappy grin a guy can muster over this shitshow.
[ He's just leaving out that the meteor was downright cozy and homelike by the time they were done with it. ]
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You used "most" not "all" so I'm hoping that means you had some still with you.
[It's not that he doesn't empathize. It's a kid. (Albeit a weird alien kid). Of course he does. He knows freedom and maybe a situation where you have a few alive people in your...well. Life. Is an improvement over this place.]
In a few ways, this place is just better than where I used to be, and only a lateral move in some others.
North up there is alive again, for one. Somehow. My friend situation back home is a little more thin on the ground.
[It's...it's bad. Something like:
Similar lack of autonomy/happiness + (1) alive friend = Big improvement!]
[Math!]
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I'm not actually setting out to win the dead friend vigor proving here. I mostly meant to establish that whatever you were doing was pretty fucked up if you think this is better, but it seems like you already know and are just handing that information out like low quality tobacco flutes.
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